transcript

Audiovisual Cultures episode 34 – Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen and Freddie Mercury (reissue)

Show notes

In time for the platinum jubilee, enjoy this remastered reissue of lost episode 34 in which film doctors Paula Blair and Andrew Shail talk about the Queen and Freddie Mercury biopic from 2018 (BBFC cert. 12A). We get into the film’s troubled production context, Andrew’s love of the band’s music and its significance in film culture, and we touch on the depiction of Mercury’s sexuality, persona and AIDS, the amalgamated supporting characters, the narrative structure and much more. Enjoy and please give this episode a good rating and share with a friend!

Music: commonGround by airtone (c) copyright 2018 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license.

Original episode with auto-captions

Edited by Paula Blair with Audacity.

New intro recorded with Zencastr on 15 April 2022. Access Behind the Scenes recordings on Patreon.

Automated Transcript

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hello I’m cold up there and you’re listening to the audio facial cultures the podcast that explores lots of different areas and found the arts and media I’ve got a cheekily time to re issue for you today the last of our lost episodes is number thirty four after fresh showed if the screening chats with Dr Andrew she’ll way back in twenty eighteen I thank the Ximen wraps today in the Freddie Mercury and queen biopic west a troubled production history the timing of this re release it’s a bit tongue in cheek and won’t matter told if you’re playing this at any other point in the future but this falls in the wake of Queen Elizabeth the second’s platinum jubilee I’m not trying to be political hello it’s no secret that I wouldn’t mind having a go at some sort of children %HESITATION Chris say on these islands but here we are it seems like as good a week is Anne T. celebrates a British institution for me I choose not to be bisexual son of Parsi Indian parents whose four octave range singing voice and flamboyant stage persona made him perhaps the greatest rock performer of all time but that’s just me before catching up with four years younger Poland and Andre a massive thank you to our champion patrons over it PhD on dot com forward slash AP cultures he enjoyed lots of extra goodies and return for their support I really appreciate Charlotte’s for AV cultures part on socials as well especially if they’ve got a confidence boost her and store I can always use those for example at the suit one hundred and twelve gas John badger reached out on Twitter but his guest experience saying holy cari if I didn’t know me I think I was mildly intelligence your editing skills are on point I couldn’t be more pleased thank you you’re very welcome John ideal for quality service I may not be able to pay myself for my guests but quality phone conversation are guaranteed if you’re interested in being part of the show as a guest to worse to have your feet background alright head over to the contacts and cancels features that audio visual cultures dot com for night the show must go on so let’s go stone cold crazy and write the wild winds with this discussion of Bahamian Rhapsody swearing this button mainly including from the film or things to be a mercury is known to have Sadam performed we also discussed the film’s imagining of mercury sexuality and its diagnosis and of course we spend a lot of time on the music and depictions of the performances in the film J. enjoy and I cried and sometimes picking up do you want %HESITATION I don’t because I think it’s been a thing for both we yes it’s my choice yes we can the Bahamian up city which once cinematically amazing as well as having for me that is fiction you can always it’s going to one six I still love the cinema the woman next to me holding service because they were when it was one of those so much for this story that Friday sequence is made you want to get up and dance so I didn’t remember you know it was great we made a rather silly mistake of going well it’ll be at three thirty H. Sunday off the main screen tell me no need to book ahead seven point eight six seven seven this comes doing really well this room with a fantastic soundtrack of course but also from six AM to you can see queen in the studio recording their first album really experimental stereo and circles in order to show that that being really telling the sun did you know what to do of course the same standard effects have to be replicated in my answer there was all this flipping the sound from the because that’s my my brain works these days in the opening credits when I saw Bryan singer’s name he’s probably the obvious choice but also he’s just a name at the minute because he’s one of the many people he said here’s one of those but I don’t really know the details a good few people I have been completely switch yeah for this goes to the graphic pretty much three yeah this customer doing just inserting himself in the Freddie Mac for this he was in almost every show he was physically ready from the first one we see and he’s getting ready to go out and listen to a little because of the way up to the very long climactic scene live right everyone gets twenty real time I think it was even that’s why he makes the words differently in the version of a thing that you did and they did not rami Malek the same slightly different ways that was very did they do that thing with by that point according to what I have been getting ready for so many times yeah given the switchboard the pharmacist is very easy to she gin and tonics one but to do it and it was the thing about somebody like Freddie Mercury so treating he was this one of I think it may take a couple I think for quite awhile there were rumors that one might have taken on the role of Freddie Mercury great so I think it took them a long time to find Freddie it’s important when you’re doing a this is what these real people bring lots of with the message John deacon rule really that’s fine walking across the really well done cinematographic Freddie’s head injuries reduce stress and these extra Charlotte reviews he’s on stage some of the show’s kind of extreme close up which you can only do by completely computer generated in focus yeah there is going on with having it going the instruments almost twenty three that’s our bus where underneath it went on before the storm runs right up said Brian may’s guitar I think it is control in the next couple of shots coming out I come like a drunk looking down on them and it was what I’m submitting it was a it was different from we will rock you stem from it was thanks to so many of them they had so many out there so many there was one glaring omission for me and then I realize they’re saving it the stock may know I understanding it of course there has also the show must go on that was one of the tracks on that album I think it’s awesome response he was and of course someone says the show must go on so even though that was not the clean up of banks and stuff in the last few months they did the eight story having him realize he’s got it and then having the crisis these going to just make music thank for this and it’s happening fast and this time he knows his time is limited so it’s very we need to have come and find me when it’s ready and realize I can dance strong this was a bit of a brave posing and as the walking off stage of the live in concert in nineteen when he lived for six and a beta six years contains these and I just became old enough to go and see I’ve always loved playing music by the time I was really aware I didn’t think anything about and I dare say going nine the huge presence of queens in mine came with me was my older brother maybe it was just yeah I’m from the south going okay so we know about this green which is eighty three known about more nineteen seventies going in the nineteen eighties at the end of it we it’s very few hits from that album they did in the early nineteen eighties and the queen yeah Highlander the queen does movie soundtracks there’s so many different queens and queen I love the jokes about finding love with my account please there was always conflict what to do with businesses while you can have a single which is over six minutes long which is perhaps how the problem I’m having my as expected of a DM all right his name okay so while yeah okay sorry this reminds the wings well doing this we want songs that kids are going to be had a specific statement that maybe not seasonal it’s going to be the and then some you know I would become a song somebody’s six German children many references fine where we needed to see if on the way like a rock the way that these relationships whether whether it’s not really ready to do another in the long term he was there was a new version with somebody I didn’t get he wants it to be perfect and then moves on to situation where they just good friends by six having this is going from strength knowing it’s not someone who comes in you know he says merry I think this is Friday afternoon for a while but you yeah she dismissed that’s never any acting yeah he seems Neil yeah I think this guy told me it was his minders manager every day nothing about it I do you know if any of us I don’t know about that I didn’t know anything about it so anyway the character he’s quite an emotionally manipulative controlling relationship the calling of the city and state almost and take them away from clean every this CBS summer to do so it seems like he thinks on his face I’m not sure I’ve taken that up right it seems like he gets wind of this offer he gives it to the manager John rates and says it should come from here so it’s all John ready for anything sorry is it could go either way and his idea returns are not some of it gets really hurt that they’re trying to break away from the and so but then it ends up later on doing it because this guy Paul is obviously one trying to siphon away from history France %HESITATION okay because yeah one of the best number I was really just an instance of an the case was over it was welcome to the forty in some in some of the albums yeah this is going to cost was this is somebody gives me an extra seven when the the recording an album right it wasn’t a modern thing that happened when I was three different events and six okay yeah re release do you have a sense the firm says this is Anthony from breaking get changing the dressing up okay London then you wouldn’t have thought that you she had a mistake three from the also this is the having this yeah we get you can get around it by just not having sex in fact with NATO’s so there’s no signs of heroin use or anything like cocaine use their hands heavy drug use going on get rid I think it he’s been led into this it’s almost like he’s call has wanted all the things in the failed the state becomes his best you know he’s a puppet master name Freddy gets Weissman merry comes once the reality it must have been but it’s just %HESITATION thing of all land when Freddie gets my stamp click on the one night stand or any Germany when merry called for five minutes from England fires on the spot like it’s sort of a seven everyone seeing again there’s always a knowledge base of things are you know you’ve gone wrong that’s when all the freaks come but that’s all taxes and I’m not the case Intel type thing you know he gets his money for doing all the media and by Friday my has anybody you don’t know to what extent anything straight actually station so maybe it’s a moment fading sorry for Friday that things happen it’s hard to know what the trees and hippos now could save this film which was finally ready we in a sense he was a ticket to the final when it came to do yeah yeah there you have it you’ve been taken apart just torn off to one side has been very Katie being quite confirmed with my family often really split yeah keep seeming to think that she needs it belongs to him yeah because the noise makes on this day we also have to point out that the way the film seems to make it ideal for families to get back together after Freddie has this crisis in Germany while buttons and pull in the license he’s in a relationship and also realizing the second going from nixes really wants to get nineteen point zero twenty one respond to the small people are comedy quartet whenever they recorded together since a breeding whenever there’s conflict one just needs to make it yeah everything’s fine so this one is complete another one bites the dust it’s just about getting anyone to do any work getting a physical fight and then I think it’s off screen it’s just John deacon yeah right yeah and I go three great wait wait wait a minute so there were these moments always gonna go wrong is going to come back together because their rooms didn’t even we would like to do and then of course when we get back together shortly before live eight and almost certainly didn’t happen because they messed it up together so you thank %HESITATION occasion either her sure more than a week Anthony it’s a working again a moment and I’m sorry the comedy of the film in dramas like this is really essential to have this moments here and there and a few years yeah it works very well and it’s very tightly times and everything the Christ really with it because it was great seeing it with I meant for the people who were clearly how can a day on not only does one is sure one moment of the woman next to me said during the summer end of it when they were recorded along to the on from the house and I was trying to persuade the executive of the MI paste by minus to release but he knows these online and I was and it wasn’t what it was before do this all right now but it’s going to be new yeah pretty plays a bit of opera it’s going to be a musical theater it’s going to be fantastic and he goes no one listens to all and the woman next to me when I heard from a seventy mistake you’re talking to the screen the screen is if there’s no one else yeah but yeah it was it was amazing the moment it was raining we watched it at home well I think I got really excited and saying things are going so I and we’re gonna be out of this building in about three minutes thank you well I am saying that we shades D. another proper operating as well a bit later when we got time to make some stuff I think is I think we’re going to need to get some details that we aren’t able to do at the moment one question for you %HESITATION did you cry I welled up a fair few times I have to say me too the jets that’s the kind of film where I’d wanna fill me with a disabled people see how much they are always the weather and I want to see when and where they only have get a free opening credits the twentieth century fox yes I did a special version of the twenty three folks from with cinemascope extension which was a rock version %HESITATION with lead guitarist Rafiq Bhatia I’d like to know thank you it wouldn’t surprise me Brian made today I think so I think this is why we need to go except from if you’re using the number for your records he was a British citizen from birth probably something to do with the fact that his father was he worked at the British colonial office in Zanzibar also that he was he was a member of several other bands before he introduced himself to smile that’s one of those ways in which they’re simplifying reforms of Larry you rex I just realized that I completely missed the Kenny Everett at the mouth I was in I didn’t realize that but I was a kid so slow why here even talking to the media on your part because I was like this is familiar I think that this is supposed to be somebody who I know come look at who it is but yeah it’s can well and the apparently that was a big part of the union reps to getting after it was but they were already made is there a quite flamboyant and that it was ever who first put that someone intent on national radio station on capitol Monday in the capital radio itself haven’t actually accepted the song ever it just pretended to accidentally play it John McCain ever played the some thirty six times in one day I thought there was something to do with it being a baby science to something else that’s the way that you tend to get someone to get airplay that doesn’t fit with the I could quite possibly spending mostly just reading stuff about thirty minutes server very firmly two three we’ve been reading about mowing get some clarification so interesting actually the production context it does seem to have been quite a dog for a long process yeah seconds with the director because we have both noticed at Baxter Fletcher was in there executive producer credit is often quite a waiting list of executive producers from yeah and this can mean quite a few things by inductively just case it turns out that he got an executive producer credit because he directed something like the last quarter of principal photography and of course started on editing as well did a lot post production director stuff as well after Bryan singer has what seems to be a family crisis yeah because I think I think a remember reasonably things like that but it’s just one of those fleeting things that you read and didn’t really pay much attention to it time and we’re also constantly having production news about films that’s all no it’s going to be coming out for several years yeah that we don’t get a heads up so we set the stuff for some catering and then suddenly there’s a film being released so it seems that this film has been in production one from another well the it’s been being made because this pre production in one form or another since twenty ten and so we’re quite lucky to finally got a film out of the big team of people who were involved in this which included Jim beach repairs in the film police who has played in the film very well by Tom Holland that someone that doesn’t do much actual using his face but I think then it’s just the person who you cost is people who want for express via place those people very well he’s become a real stalwart I think if British film he’s been in so many days and take up also should have been found here is fighting and that part I think it for sure members wasn’t he the real reason he won and prior to the carribean in the second and third seconds ones that’s my first memory of him yeah but yes he’s good at playing those characters that was nice actually to CM as one of the back bone characters and Bahamian upstate it was nice to see him as a guy in his reading here about a research project undertaken in twenty sixteen to understand the appeal behind Freddie mercury’s voice which president for that he definitely had a vocal range of just over three octaves which is quite some right and that he has a fast of a broader than the other thing is that we get from having a scientific explanation of why this guy’s voice was quite amazing okay put the sounds on me we’re in a situation of being really unable to tell with this part of the sounds are it seems to have been placing a layer of forty are from old recordings of Freddie mercury’s voice on top of what we’re getting from Ron Maddox force them certain points where it’s running Malick singing and then certain points where it gets a decidedly different quality of because he’s trying to sound as much like Freddie Mac as possible so the real uncertainty about his voice to getting anyone what of course Dr Barone I have decided to compare the size of our queen collections mine’s quite fragmented though because a fellow friends it’s just a few songs from lots of different albums I thought it was from someone else’s special collection sweet lady one of the lessons and so much of the upper this is the one with the line that’s really killed in the phone right one of them says this you call me sweet like I’m some kind of cheese some of the lyrics to some of the lesser known songs sound weird but it’s not like the lyrics to that mornin songs on tweet it we just got used to these very weird things that you say in a big operatic voice when singing the songs and you do rarely sang the songs particularly doing karaoke other Beltre’s it’s safe you can call them this because a lot of things to get serious I think to try and give things a better border where they basically think it by the film as biopic genre it feels like the wrong term sub genre feels like it doesn’t do it enough justice but the biopic as a mode of storytelling in film is something I find really fascinating the overwhelming narrative and biopics generally tends to be the great and history services but this one central character he’s the hero or anti hero of the thing I think what I really liked about this is that it’s not titled Friday it’s not type of mercury X. title but he may not say I’m not very much Freddie mercury’s songs but it does mean is more about the bonds and they are such a huge feature and so much is made of the bands in the film especially them all referring to each other’s family they find their paper I find their tribe that’s part of the look of the film when someone refers to green is very friendly and Freddie goes then all my family in the early stages not these people are my family and then after you go through a crisis and it goes back and he arranges this reunion with them then he says your my faithful that calls back to the very first meeting I have with people from nine AM Miami Freddie says where the mess but don’t fret and the other members of the band talk about as being a fun night because none of us fat and the people that we are doing this for don’t fret wear a different kind of family so at Kohl’s box that so Friday and sept and say that but he’s part of that discussion they are saying that my hands the films about queen back coming as clean as they could possibly get you off the first trying lots of different ways of doing it and getting it right at some points and not getting it right now points and I suppose that there’s generally fit with the stress of what I’ve seen and I do get the sense that we’ve got lots of moments when we’re getting a fictionalized account which you might be trying to make everyone appeared to be better people than they actually were and it definitely begin the fictionalized accounts which is making it one appeared to be a lot more power I think in the way they speaking yeah the people nevertheless even for the metric that monologue about fruit flies wow I think it is it’s done between two people who are looking at each other yeah definitely come here it’s an extremely heavy rain I mean turn around sell dying poor suffering in taming taming ran looking away from each other and talking quite quietly and intimately away from the other person and they must be made or so parts also Freddie’s clearly not while it also seems to be something of a rule now the you start films in media Raz for a minute or so and then you go back and start to the beginning that’s just how you do it but I suppose it’s not even the media rights because that means in the middle Steinman we’re talking still in the midst right near the edge well it’s like the CODESA and music acts establishing the same addressing the endpoint and then going back and then you can actually at the end our first few moments on this front America waking up in the morning of the live it comes at the cost a couple of times and then that’s it and then suddenly after stadium he’s getting ready to go on stage or anything from hauling waiting I’m just about to go on stage and then reflect back to him working as a baggage handler Heathrow in nineteen seventy until often going to be about getting back up to this moment I serve right from the beginning it’s made clear that yeah you will note that this is going to be a story about someone getting it I’m more sure that we know that you know and we’re gonna get back but first let’s go and do a story about people making music the most fun bits were when the band and playing time to come up with something that’s catchy when they sell a van and pay for a couple of days in a recording studio and I just making stuff up as they go along and the recording the album that’s called queen might even between two actually well it’s got seven seas around it because that’s the seven seas rise I first hit and it’s one that most people haven’t even heard of and it’s very hard not much guitar and that was really enjoyable certain people experimenting insuring how big they were on stereo such that they will actually start to where the tapes out they recording is they’ve been recorded over so many times and they apparently they would know what that this the point would have to stop re recording and recording lies of sound on these types because if you held it up you could see through it and I just love this idea that the recording medium suffers from having some which pertain to it might just start to disintegrate where is the way we record now the recording medium we don’t think of it as something that has material now it sells them quite virtue of this nightmare is burned from the very earliest appointment a recording being really into using stereo which wasn’t new technology in your average person’s home music system hysteria been around in cinema since the shift to white screen star had been normal since four track stereo sound a bit normal since and being that band here basically pine in the music video while I’m running please bring a song which laments the death of radio because of the size of the music the foreign army radio Gaga and being around that was huge on getting audiences to be part of that case they hit those three not stereo music video %HESITATION mornings in part I. gigs and they didn’t even do the music video bet with any sort of pain let’s invent music without having that account of an invention story they just had it so that one of those magical realist moments occurred where the couple of images from the Bahamian up the video just appeared in the background is one of the scenes and I was there you know over the noise that they invented music video on we got a lot of boxes we were talking earlier record number eight the audience participation because I was saying that I haven’t made a trade with me before hi much of their work was involving the audience I remember being at the fourteen or so and being just totally captivated by we were rocky and it’s such a simple notate the thump class you know from from clap read that rest is really important well let’s step four four one three three four the sound is yeah it just hadn’t dawned on me but then maybe that’s because I was too young for crane to fully appreciate crane by the time I was aware of them U. S. hearing queen songs on the radio their songs were on and films on compilation albums I was getting and that would see the occasional video if I was watchin MTV VH one or one of the music channels as a teenager so it that participation but just haven’t really checked with me and tell me anything on the phone today and of course we were rocking it sends me in London and they make the narrative %HESITATION I’m not really fascinating it’s nice to see that story of the pond really laughing and interacting with their audience so much because so many biopics and even fiction films about musicians and bands so much Batman and upping the adoration but not really thinking about it their fans not really having much relations with them but this was so different and even as an audience member saying the Salem he felt like part of it and there was so much participation actually in the audience you people clapping and stomping their fates and speaking to the screen and you know and it was a code violation that I think Sakshi exact %HESITATION and if I’m like that when you’re engaging directly with them and they audiences that are way fast and each other those legendary Mexico around about the different versions that for you would do if the federal yeah you’ve got saying we have we we did we went to this concert well okay while this comes that way did it so that there was twenty five not so we have to remember that back when I was a look at this okay there’s also some very things we say at the end he would of course at some point guard now the going is over but we have to do it in some way so if I simply say well you’re good and he would often say you fuckers it good and then probably like once or twice he just went fuck you as if the guy %HESITATION content do you or do you assume that evidently it no he done that well before it was something to do with it bye bye I’ve got a D. V. D. some of queen during a concert in Montreal in the late seventies he stops awfully close by them hello this is wrong he’s just wearing these tiny shorts it’s not so hot AP just shedding light on for their dynamic case made hi Amy so can addicts is the for you to use the person maybe that’s why I felt some degree of affinity with anything alive is because he would not stay still loves the kids really fidgety anyway I think even relative to other kids at risk but you see that and someone he’s become the superstar and has managed to make something graceful and beautiful and engaging articles mace ments there was a point I think it was with the miracle album in nineteen eighty nine well one of the songs that they did and also just while I’m on this page the cover for the album %HESITATION yeah I really did not want to have to stick together so that between them they have one two three five five online there’s no K. all his views but we seem to have pretty much resigned to just wander into it what details eyes anyway one of songs is the miracle the video for that they didn’t use the bans the use these for kids I think the bond to pay for about the last ten seconds of the song service for kids and they do the entire song as queen in each one of these kids whose London has learned how to do the person that I think so because they want to learn how to do it right to take a look at what he’s learned how to do John deacon has just learned how to stand very still complete and expressive one is not available to take residents about Spain he does with the the customer is not happy for the victory of the problems from testicular across the states back and forth a part of the band said when they finished watching over from happening because a banner that read the music that was being found they said can we do an anti tool for okay this story many of the songs I have not heard of such a long time they did want to three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen if you count the soundtrack to Flash Gordon and of course the kind of magic which is essentially the soundtrack to highland fifteen albums including the made in half an hour when the when the recording and fuss free months of Freddie mercury’s death that’s well over a hundred solution can we name more than twenty of the top of our heads that’s one of the things I suppose about this was that it said you know these fifteen green songs that you know your going to happen now that was the big when he learns he’s got aids they play a little bit of wants to live forever without making any mention at all of them having recorded kind of magic because that seems to be what they were recording when they did a lot of it comes out yeah we must not get the satisfaction figures mixed up with reality it’s easy to see that as a documentary Hey Mike Sanders %HESITATION talking about earlier silences the characterization of everybody like a lot of people’s characters you’re pretty flash story but also you know it’s brilliant to have more representation of north and Irish slash the people onscreen but it would just be lovely if it gets really not all psychopaths and manipulators our system thing or if both are better life class but you’re saying it seems like people I can the characters like camera mocha nations with lots of people I’m looking very yes it seems that a lot of the people who are real life people a link in the process to clean up the mess the several of them you are cleared customs in player will printer as the manager well pretty much ready made it public in November nineteen ninety one and a half days but it was an open secret by that point %HESITATION the cashier full friends are supposed to represent them in life if they refused TV footage as if that was a very yeah another piece of actual TV footage with somebody real quick before breaking away but as for her that she was not to care it could just be representative of that kind of thing happening in celebrity culture the towels for lots of money story nineteen seventy four press conference where he was going to be with them yeah they really pressed the issue with that press conference of their with the journalist he was really trying to press him about his sexuality and of course it’s a much bigger deal than the night but %HESITATION so it feels like it could be very speaking to today because we’re still not a point where it doesn’t matter and people are still forced to commemorate that moment my brain many strange women women well then he simply not panic when amazing well zing that’s quite a while speaking in this room the terrorists a sunfish an ATM sign mid summer murders when he playing Brian main said anybody wanna talk about music M. three times you know I like to listen to the actual recording about yeah that would be fascinating is that screen which is now going wouldn’t it be great if people just hands yeah about what we do yeah you know and also the humor coming through as well because people are pressing Friday by and seeming like he’s been ill and Brian may saying what a cold glass break anybody’s interested and Freddie sank there for members of this bond I’m not the leader of the band there four of us here in your own asking me questions why aren’t you asking anybody else cautions was quite as compact way of getting across quite a lot of points you know and maybe quite skating towards the press but also I think it’s probably reflective of what has happened since then because it feels like it’s gone much worse difficult home magazines you you go in there shall be no you go and get your messages and you just say these things attached to or women’s magazines and stuff and it’s just these snaps private moments of people having a holiday and they were in a bikini on a beach or people snapped in private moments on the night of eight this is trying to be human BN’s and paparazzi aren’t even allowed to have interviews with these people and the quote from information from patient list people divulging yeah selves and their relationships with other people we do really we have collectively as a culture about the private lives of other people so yeah this from was costing about asking this court brutal question of why do we have so much money because people buy their first names that sound a bit I think even the family members living in might have been Friday himself he says you know we belong to them the longer they both but it’s outside of them belongs to the people hello it represents that hadn’t mystic sites on the performance of the hedonism because it does feel like a performance it feels that you know that it’s just the the lavish party that he picks on many has Sydney bakeries but also the really intimate things like they might have copped city has the temple they have their own room and this massive Haris there’s not a huge amount of time spent on any of that but there’s enough shot reverse shots between him Nick Hans you get loads of Kate cops show up and the firm because it’s showing me that there also his farm lane police cannot stop it’s Friday there are few moments when their cats were looking straight at the camera with my cats got like with the crossed in the corner I wanted to just be cursed see that side of him DST pop outside of his life it’s performing side of his life said going to the masochistic gay clubs in Germany side of his life but he had this domestic life that was laughing and yes it was very lavish because laughing at this price that and the faction one of the music videos where it takes the form of this huge %HESITATION he’s not quite the right right right but %HESITATION GS stick policy where everyone’s wearing mosques in huge flamboyant gay and it seems that that’s the kind of stuff you wanted to help you didn’t want didn’t want to have you do wanna do debauchery yeah the flamboyant yeah German things being exciting and people wearing suits uniforms many of us would maybe have a fee is at some point of our lives who will try something because we just want to be different or we wanna CMI that kind of person so you try something you push your limits and then maybe after %HESITATION you go to one this is for me I’m not being true to myself and so you come back again and it seems like that may have been his thing certainly in the film version of Friday that was what happened and it seems like he was groomed and so not by this character poll but seems to have been manufactured items seven people so to see how easy that somebody can be and then the pressures of what Iran and he got somebody Kansi harping on EA and if you’re factoring with your band mates all the time anyway and it’s a perfect storm of things this man to somebody he’s manipulative enough can just quietly chip away chip away chip away convention or something you’re not and it’s inching his Friday his younger shoppers much more assertive your call first tries it on with him when he’s working really disrupts embarking yes ready that piano he’s singing he’s writing music holds your hand and insects I know he Freddie Mercury and Freddie saying you don’t know me at all this is all you see of me is that side of things and then the power relationship with switch to Brian yeah the firm’s leopard the film the director was saying you know how does this sound that you’re used to well that’s where the sound comes from in some places this is how creativity I like seeing creativity represented in films because sometimes it’s creativity with someone just a total genius senators could have just completely thought of this thing back genius thing it mystifies this in some places went to the other in the spectrum where that knowledge I’ve been dreaming upstate the first I’m here is because of the sound bridge over a talk about to cry and then it goes to the cook seems to be going on at this farm so it places that they got these ideas from hearing the cries cokes while they were working from okay this use that sense so there’s a list of people when they created only do is they just listen to their surroundings we just watch their surroundings and then write down what goes on so with that account of creativity we get a lot in the experience I have yeah nothing you just don’t think I remember you just set up on both go on yeah yeah it’s also a really comment it’s a nice light comedy sign bridge missile you know because everybody really laugh the thought saying because it takes you off guard you know because you’re expecting the protest art and then you hear you’re going to hire me it will be mostly noises the in quite a few queen songs even late in their career Brian made as their X. and Roger Taylor upset does not the lead singers are singers one for example is it wants to live forever how often are ex and he wants to live forever a Brian may for the record and gives the best idea serial found at some point this call is squeaky voice that goes on in a lot of queen songs and dance Roger Taney yeah got a quality to it which is not quite as wide ranging as Freddie mercury’s but it’s still a Queenstown but then the film did also go you know sometimes the songs just come out of Freddie stern it really comes up with the first couple of lines of beaming up states I’m just sitting in a gathering of bang bang bang bangs it out and it comes out of him like he’s puking Mike this is involuntary thing that has happened to me is finished if shaking and so that’s the kind of midway point it’s not him getting the sounds from his surroundings and it’s not him having %HESITATION I’m completely in control moment it’s kind of a free between which I think is probably more accurate neither of these extremes I’m trying to find out more about the accuracy of the Munich episode but it’s a very private thing you know and it feels more like an imagining of that period of his life and then you don’t know how much of that has been imposed I think you were saying earlier it feels like the stereotypical with the heteronormative fearful thought culture could pay card to know right away and then we don’t know exactly what parts Bryan singer was involved way we don’t know what Stam dexter Fletcher might have them that would be very different from Bryan singer it is runs from threat to have been there during the production process make for a fascinating account of how films function the taxes that you’re having done sunshine on nice deal he’s directed back musical things before so he would have had that energy especially because that’s based on the Proclaimers songs but it’s a bit like mamma mia and that it’s the characters that are singing the songs so it’s you know it’s not by the bandits by characters and then a burst into the song’s scene %HESITATION their plight to this story so those bank great things the crowd getting involved I imagine that could be him but then Bryan singer has dealt with massive scale stuff and lots of CG I have the stuff is welding the superhero films I think it was important to get in somebody who wasn’t just going to point cameras axes he added this film because it being able to create these virtual cameras that can go anywhere being able to create these subjective Schultz where something happens in the background is clearly just happening in somebody’s had been willing to do that I think it’s quite important to give this the drama which they deserve Sir I think you know surprising twist but nonetheless a good choice actually it is left and which bits of this reflection bits in which yeah the rainy wonderful snow in net maybe it’s an archives yeah accessing it yeah because I mean even just that idea of Willis directors completed most of the film but has not gone a while so what do we date they have to get somebody else and then you’re a director in your really good director in your own rights but it’s not your fans a director for hire Nagy he has to finish it and try and have some sort of continuity with what’s already been done I mean that must be really difficult we hear more about this these days about people getting rotating partway through a project yeah directing from somebody else because I have been with soda in it of course you have a large three seven dexter Fletcher she’s missed rooms finely guessing may yeah seven years it’s a film about green it’s mostly down to about two thirds of its done somebody needs to bring it on home you would quite happily both directed in the start of somebody else and just take an executive producer credit with you just to get the film made all up so let me hear about what’s happening with the Terry Gilliam version of going to help you find I finally being made yeah that’s right but it seems that it has finally been made but then there’s a legal battle happening over whether it can be released and I think at this point this phone’s been waiting in the pipeline for so long however you want he’s standing right getting this thing released do it daily for the sake of the film for the sake of all Americans all these people’s lives that’s the thing it’s hundreds of people’s labor goes into they sayings and whatever’s going on with Bryan singer fees have stuff out and then in the past while this is a film that people need to say because this is a by Friday it’s about playing and try to understand the phone belongs to all of us it’s one of those it’s a story that belongs to all of us and Freddie is still so very low that crowded that we ran alone tells you that because Susan manning I think an older cried and I would strongly suspect a lot of those people who are fans in the day you know that young people and the day you have to work the band and probably saw them life and everything like that woman we spoke to the setting aside years using the Antares the other ninety chat whether at the end and she just loved it so much I mean I think if they put it on straight away again to the south American to after quicken books of his manager to see how I was doing in the states because the relationship between the U. S. fans I’m quite okay from the green that was mentioned in the film queen broke the U. S. quite early but then as the phone went out stopped touring in the US because of the video for I want to make correct very stressed I wouldn’t show that they’re too conservative and it was fascinating that saying my Freddy the man space because he gets the blame of but it wasn’t his idea yeah because it was Roger wasn’t sure it was he wrote the song and it was his idea to have some %HESITATION cross straps you in play women but it all gets in the presses or they’ll get to the end and scarecrows on Friday in the states it’s only been out for three days but it’s done pretty amazingly at estimated fifty million for these first three days that’s quite alright fifty million for a film with a budget of fifty two million on its opening weekend it’s been awesome appetizers the firm has every reason to do amazing cameos well judging by today I would say a while here because of the high on the show for the Tyneside to be thought popped on a Sunday afternoon when did it come out in the case and I think just a few days ago the danger does this count as its opening weekend here at hospital if you need to check I do have with people some critics have been Smith they have may I think there are bets where the added and then sings my dipping back row play other bets where the C. GI helping the cinematography was Belfius for me especially that could go injuries the bus but sewers and into the tour bus in there any ass I’m not window transition in the from one screen I thought you know that would elect Kate maybe fifteen years ago LX nine back it’s fifteen years old stop transition and could have been a lot smoother but then maybe so much of their budget went on reconstructing Wembley because it was an eighty five because it took the lion’s head sets what we just did that because of the front but the rest was computer generated yep and that would have been a lot of the C. T. I. puts it would it not something that bag and not many people on the stage he’ll just to give it a day at work it’s opening weekend was last weekend this is its second weekend in the UK days during storms I would say this is been raining on them to standards to have a center near its maternity have lost touch with night but I was very good friends say when I worked in Tesco years ago she was just the hugest queen and Freddie Mercury fun and the whole world to see George Friday and would follow some of the tribute bands and it always goes in them I’m trying to remember if the tribute act that she’s going to say the tribute act I was trying to remember the name of his flash Harry and the peace to Northern Ireland I know that people like her would be the first in line for this film %HESITATION probably see it multiple times I would say this is one okay a lot of repeat custom this whole podcast episode on the center is in at the %HESITATION what films have you seen more than once at the cinema Ghostbusters twenty sixteen how many times twice and that the right one and three times and some of them because I’ve never seen a no more than once in the cinema it just fails even when they’re amazing I just have the patience to wait yeah I think the second US marshals that’s all I think I saw twice invalid code on which one was up the spy who shagged me without a for sure our website maybe it was a spatial let’s guess is another Mike Myers thank it was the one way faster Graham first name is Gordon powers count on international man of mystery nine ninety seven that was spacious rooms at this price segment in the third one was Austin powers in Goldmember the other two I think I saw a lot of sense and I think also the fact from twice in the cinema there’s probably others have sentencing minimums I seen dawn of the dead and site specific screenings of the film festival twice once was a Halloween screening and consequent shopping center so you’re and shopping malls schools one thing down on that initial come off and it was a mid night thing as for the phone this is two hundred people most of us made up of some thank you and the other time was all planned that alive sign track record in water from homes and nursing well there’s a green connection here because not only is this the band he gas %HESITATION soundtrack albums for film this is a band whose music was it just the music of Freddie mercury’s used as positive Giorgio Marin his soundtrack for metropolis all right I don’t know actually in queens the first quite big fans of a cinema and so called music videos include little snippets yeah references to other films and the music video for radio guy got a bit of help from the top this is the group who when they had the opportunity they’d like to orchestrate some sort of visual track to go with along with the music but he was like I think even maybe sign tracks because this is some fan here hurry interests is a mess and I think I’m becoming more aware of it more interested but certainly maybe sign checks done by pop bands or contemporary banned the use of non classical and rock offers not kind of thing but also there’s the phenomenon of the west and shows and stuff because she’s saying we will rock a yeah I can do something that will reward but looking into because the norm with friends doing maybe some soundtrack seems to be that rather than it being a band comes in and watches an unaccompanied version of fast on composing music yeah it’s the early on in the writing of the film and gets a concept towards hearing comes up with a song and then if %HESITATION trying gets released well before the films come out then the passenger cabin mates online which will include one of those tracks and a bunch of other ones as well so it’s this often quite messy choppy prices so that it’s not quite the same as you get a composer and and you go OK sometimes go put music on this so often it’s about because if you’re gonna use the name of the bond in marketing the best thing to do is to have something by that band specifically to do with that film ready to release well before the fed meeting us at the same explosion marketing yes I’m ready if late to pre sell the phone but also nine it’s become so common to use already existing music assign track me say so not just temp tracks anymore but said bill told them so the likes of mamma mia and sunshine on the street you using the music of a specific plans to build a whole narrative around isn’t this stage play we rocky isn’t it that like that yes not exclusively clean but it’s not rock opera thing is that we are is we can take a bunch of queens arms of a gonna have characters in a narrative where every now and then one of them has to stop and sing a song about the situation also happens to be a quick so I’m just going to work out there was a bit when I thought this music is from the future of the time when things are happening in the storage space because it was one forty but it helps me was having one of his first big lavish parties and the music off of this didn’t come up until about ten years later it was kind of touches but it was what that was sampled from most none it wasn’t and see how far it was heat sample thought you’ve got and you have a mixed up with vanilla ice MC hammer born Stanley Kirk Burrell let’s work out the timings on this coming soon okay conducts this %HESITATION you can’t touch this nineteen nineties so yeah we were getting a piece of nice Cummins okay federalist use the baseline from under pressure completely with permission as part of his made in nineteen ninety yeah I know that I was talking of a baby contestants will not and then it was it seemed to be officially it was music somebody was playing at Freddy’s party that was supposed to be happening in something like nineteen seventy nine but you know this is music from nineteen ninety but then of course I realize no one’s hearing this music at this party this is just incidental non digested music but I also so is it weird that they’re using popular music from future history space as non biogenic music not samples from the disco chart I don’t think so okay I have to look this up okay all right the some samples the permanent opening riff of the Rick James song super freak yeah that’s what I saw you’re going to tell different just do something I just do the thing okay friend what is super freak nine eight one that’s what I was trying okay so we can all right then we’ll go back and have this because I can sell it no no in the sense read the credits okay Rick I’ve mixed up to preclude the context okay sorry since nineteen eighty one might still have been in the future when I was supposed to be happening maybe that was there any any specific not long after that that that old because the party goes to Munich in numbers nineteen eighty four that’s a pretty discography data raises nineteen seventy six news of the world nineteen seventy seven jazz nineteen seventy eight the game nineteen eighty plus gold in nineteen eighty and then hot space which is the poppy one nineteen two okay it roughly fits with that this is a highly compressed gases and tiny okay will not actually move to pieces of music and that rendition of bohemian Rhapsody from stone cold classics compassion is at the very first green of my arms his greatest hits one how did that happen I want to know how it is that people get const as real life figures and also have an acting career I just checked the bios of each of the people who played the names of queen everyone of them has an acting career %HESITATION in Leicester’s one in several places because rami Malek isn’t a Gyptian prince in the night to the museum films very posh well spoken prince was over then have some career and it’s been picked as these people who they look exactly like it seems like astonishing lock %HESITATION just great head makeup and prosthetics well I would say so yeah widen somebody’s knows a bit the picture of physically lands yeah maybe yeah he looked very different but the big Brian may hair you can believe it Brian may have a million five reserves a dramatization a few years back all of the early career of the punk fans up to that point when they have that TV interview about life of Brian okay where Malcolm Muggeridge was addicted to them the six because he got to play the Parsons with total spitting images of the Balkans when they’re young I suppose it’s just a matter of you get people he really wants to play the part and then they can alter the face shape just low bat makeup of prosthetics and hat yes residual current sevens world but %HESITATION everyone’s saying wins wasn’t feeling a little bit betrayed because I thought is queen a head banging okay so this one of the tracks has about a two minute bit in it which is head banging but is anything else that they do hate that he felt slightly between the trash like green have been taken out if the needs that they have for themselves and claimed as it happened which they never will never work and this is still operatic it is mixing them but yet again wins well that was an early beginning of my awareness of Clinton and then also that same as parity and a space from coal loaded weapons I was respectively who is a member of the menu Estevez ready for you yeah and they have a party that scene from Wayne’s world the car is from the makers the naked gun yeah from China yeah I can picture the diagram right now if the relationship is a lot going on yeah there’s a lot of things that are making it because even talking about it from the movies are there there is some some research on that %HESITATION dawn of the dead in terms of thirty ten yes queen what do you think for the benefit of anyone who might actually decide whether to go and see this phone off depending upon what we say I got to a fake that anybody got some touches me tells me I haven’t seen the films that you’re talking about it so I’ll listen to the episode when I’ve seen the film because we are pretty spoilery maybe it’s different Mrs likes of a biopic but then if you didn’t know the life story of someone that is going to be spoilery at such an enjoyable film is really rising it’s everything you want like and that’s all the songs probably the economical are going to be in their candy floss the elements of it but none of it is okay now here’s another song that you like that you really want us to play for you everything is motivated the axe ready well earliest it’s from the main piece of cinema okay perhaps we’re getting an account of reality which is less interesting than an actual truthful one would have been in places where there is this big pressure on all the surviving members of queen in the making of a film like this which is that this is as critical as of Freddie’s memory as they were gonna let any film bait it does say that he’s not perfect it wasn’t easy parking and all my fellow this time but they’re quite special I think he gave the world something I can miss alive at a time when we could record him come away and say about boys but the voice is gonna last for as long as humanity can prisoners were constantly copying recordings from one medium to the neck yeah that’s fine because of the way that it’s going to last but that’s the beauty of it is well to capture that idea from recording on tape and the the lettering on the tape and the tape spring nights and then referring to all of that and that we’re not doing that anymore because the kids that attacks sure my signs and then dot texture being on the final as well when I was coming I thought so much a part of music for men I think that’s one of the reasons why me being an old person nine being a twentieth century person as that I think I get really bored with a lot of contemporaneously naive because to clean I like the Scott Tunis I like that I can hear it the media being ace and the twentieth century in this room excited about the technologies involved with those of people throwing vinyl at each other yeah this is a physical object thrown around the room and the sufferings being around yeah it’s not carrying signs on my back selecting a few files someone recording the missing a lot of tapes on reels back in full force of personal voting looking at the rewinding it so having the way it anticipation off of things that said putting candles on microphones throwing coins on the drums during the year on the job that was the thing there’s so many shots of Roger Taylor smacking drum water coming up from the phone book the film plays it was lunch the day after Houston’s Devin the sound in a second phase you Hey it’s catching the light so it is something visually exciting it’s almost explosive it’s like fireworks it’s it’s another health benefit going on was definitely part of the queen yeah that’s what I thought it was worth the drums officers contractually that’s a probably be I well after its bond sentiments anymore if you haven’t seen it on the run is over and send them back really recommend checking out or even if you don’t clean funny probably with the body and the glasses are not entirely rose tinted no they’re not from %HESITATION I think the best biopics are like in the summer the costumes

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IMG_5703Last month I attempted to create a communal chalk drawing, by inviting the guests at an event I organized to grab a piece of chalk on the way out and contribute to a drawing that I had already started. The event was an interview with Richard Demarco, arts patron, artist and national treasure of both Scotland and the UK. In the 1970s, Demarco cultivated a strong friendship with German artist Joseph Beuys, a performance artist who developed the idea of social sculpture, which meant that even a conversation could be a work of art. He also espoused the idea that everyone is an artist—everyone has an inner creativity that is just waiting to be tapped.

IMG_5643 My interview with Richard Demarco

Demarco, too, believes that. This is the creativity that we all access as children, as we draw in chalk on the sidewalk or colour outside…

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Audiovisual Cultures episode 117 – Paula Checks In

Show notes

Host Paula Blair reflects on four years of making the podcast, the writing projects she’s been working on so far this year, and some decisions about the podcast going forward.

If you enjoy this episode, please give it a good rating and share it with a friend!

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Music: commonGround by airtone (c) copyright 2018 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license.

audiovisualcultures@audiovisualcultures

Edited by Paula Blair with Audacity.

Recorded with Zencastr on 7 April 2022.

Funding the podcast helps improve its quality and provide more accurate transcripts and captions. Please support at Patreon.

Links

https://digitalfilmarchive.net/news/bending-glass-1267

https://www.drpragyaagarwal.co.uk

https://peablair.blogspot.com

https://thewhitepube.co.uk

https://www.maisiehill.com/

Automated Transcript

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hello and welcome to you what do you facial cultures the podcast that makes it different Terry is a film arts and media and their significance and culture I am your host Paula Blair and in this episode I’d like to take stock and Chuck T. up by where were asked with this show and some of the things I’ve been working on so far in twenty twenty to you because I’ve been doing quite a lot of writing and not so much recording but the store and get stuck in I wanna give my deepest thanks to our incredible patrons out pastry on dot com forward slash AP cultures and you’re not already won over patrons and you’re interested in accessing exclusive bonus content such as C. unedited video recordings of interviews has made during these constructions and things I take radios or other kinds of Baxter is that I paid I just for patrons at different tiers to go and check right the tears and see what’s on offer even if you join a to pay what you count here you can joins from one point or one dollar amounts for example and you can be on not tear you can be on any tear and pay more than the asking price for that tear I think that’s just a minimum and you can she sped up if you really want Hey but even just at the lowest here you’ll get early access to these episodes you know you get the machine days before everybody else can they send either MPG on directly or through your own dedicated RSS feeds for our patients already he should have access to those if you’re not accessing those new having problems without to sent me knowing this I don’t know if there’s a problem if somebody doesn’t tell me so the link for our peach tree and is also in the show notes but it’s that quick if you just J. Petri on dot com forward slash AP culture share find us and also if you look at our websites audio visual cultures dot com so when Marge hello Ricky S. you’ll be able to find all of those thanks as well as the full show notes transcripts and lots more information and you can also donate it directly in various ways in the website if you use pay pal if you got money in your PayPal and it’s weighing heavily in your pay pal kind I’ll happily take some of it off your hands for you those are nice ways to support and thank you for anything you do you already but I must say thanks as well to those if he he engaged on social media our Instagram is taking off I think just right at the end of March we had four hundred followers so it was quite exciting that’s the most followers the podcast is hot on any social media I give up really with the FIA spec for awhile I mostly used to face spec see you know use the matter saying because it’s connected to Instagram as well so I use it to shed chill posts and stories and stuff this doesn’t always work which is annoying but you know it’s a free service so the fees spec I think really just a day before a recording this the Facebook page I don’t know it started telling me to update it or something I was clicking all the no buttons and it did not saying where and no buttons that they became a yes without me realising and it updated to PH I have more followers than there were lakes on that night all of all of those are gone I don’t know I don’t understand Instagram is fun Twitter was the one I cook it acts and then it became a trash fire but say hello on Twitter as well because I am ready axis for the podcast at least on Twitter thanks for people he recharged on those we have had some of the comments I’m Startin to retaliate night every the start of every episode I’m read nights we’ve had so many nice feedback from somebody who spend less than I’ve started putting these honest testimonials on our web page as well so if you go to the home page of our website if you keep scrolling down to the bottom you’ll see the most recent testimonials posted there and I’m working my way Siri giving somebody a shot a night for locks I really appreciate it this means a lot of the people are listening and it’s lovely to hear thought because I I suppose I wanted to build a community with this but you know I’m an introvert and all sorts of other things you know and probably a bit of a mess some troop as well so I’m not very gate assets being central to community but I’d like to have community it’s a weird one I know %HESITATION anyway so I had some really lovely comments from Dr Fiona noble he guested on the show and episode one hundred and four please have a listen to a lot of heat Mr S. R. you’ve joined us and Stan or you know it fell off your radar it’s a really lovely conversations you and I are good friends so there is a bit of %HESITATION terror and stuff as well and very cheeky with farmer checking with her than I am with a lot of other casts because usually casts are strangers or people I’ve never met before words soon and I have known each other a good number of years nine and I can be checking back by myself Sir when I when I say cheeky I mean B. mice how hopeful so that the suit is about her research on contemporary Spanish cinema and language teaching on the twenty eighth of January this year beyond that kindly tweet ads and I quote my brilliant friend Pete Blair creates the podcast audio visual cultures AV cultures pods this week’s episode is an absolute traits super important conversation with Damian Taylor right privilege and the patriarchy among lots of other interesting topics highly recommends to the exclamation points thank you Fiona this kind of feedback really G. suite on an ice I say so I started linking these comments on our website or deep tissue cultures dot com so if you don’t select a choice in the show or on the home page let people know that you’re testing let me know that you’re not saying you can email the official cultures at G. email dot com or you know get in touch in any of these ways just love to hear from you end up to hear about what’s working and what you want to hear more of really interested in constructive feedback because I want this show to be useful it’s not just me making friends on the internet but just sometimes is felt like for the past couple of years this is not a bad thing for an introvert it’s the past one of the best places to meet you nice friends it’s the internat but it’s also quite a scary place because I know you’re dying for an up to yes the last time I checked the United States I stood Belgium for the top spot in our listener league table I know him ever should be next so just how low term Merican France and so glad that you’re listening it’s great to have you as well right suit and other seat back I had recently the listener explains that they find themselves listening to the cast I’m not so grounds but then some saying the gases said Coles something to mind for me and I start talking about it but because I tend not to want to take up too much space and I worry that I’m talking too much and you don’t need me to tell you I go off on tangents because I’m trying to avoid all of the last we tend to spade three what I’m saying you know the anecdote that I’m saying because she she off the cuff fits on plans in the discussion and I just wanna get back to the gas as soon as possible and hopefully points off each other as a conversation but the Leicester told me it seems that I have interesting stuff to say and they wanted to hear more of thought so boys Adair are you can’t not today you’re gonna get so much she’ll ask me never to cheat again this made me take a bit of pause because AVC wasn’t always primarily an interview show a lot of you may have just joined in the past couple of years she may not have bothered going box three the archive about the salutes you know this is an absolute a hundred seventeen so there’s been a lot over the past few years so making this mostly pay visits she being an interview show as more of a default during the pandemic before then I was interviewing people and person but I eat me and a lot of episodes wastes doctor Andriy she’ll he was more of a co host for the first two years because even when we did interview people we did together once the lock signs began in March twenty twenty certainly here in the U. K. Andries workloads as a senior lecturer at the university completely explodes I suppose just set the notes T. any of he he he might as Shane dot urine university staff had an easy ride if things when working from home had to happen I can tell you as a witness that he is already far too heavy workloads more than doubled and wastes no support only pressure from his employer and at the time when the freshman until Oct nine there were strike actions happening so these people already had a lock is good well last but because of this global catastrophe that was unfolding people for the most part I think really knuckled sign and did what they could for their students and just try to keep themselves afloat as I was planning notes for this recording beginning back in March of twenty twenty two eighty so two years later there is ongoing strike action from the university and colleges union in the United Kingdom and it’s just this one as she waits on the list of harmful practices that the unions fighting against so I’m not going to go into details of that case it’s not my fight but it’s a fight that I support and I have solidarity for I didn’t survive thought system I am a consultation thought system and I have the utmost empathy and sympathy for anyone who’s in the fray and it’s going straight at the moment just sort of laying out some information and it’s just flashing a bit more contacts about this business of the show because this is really what we’re talking about right now it’s just a bit of a a spike off the narrative but back to this notion of taking up space and I’m sure it was in an episode of I lay waste to me that you mail which focused site really loves become recall which apps Suter hit when she was talking to you but she and her cast we’re talking about taking up the space which is quite a feminist auction on its auction I’ve been hearing about it for years as well on the guilty feminist podcast but this time it was pointed out right not to take up space is to make space and by default that’s what making a podcast does you know it just comes to my mind it might not even have been highway it might have been on a podcast colds toxic leadership where somebody said test it was one of those to depose accent podcasts that I highly recommend to greet you if you’re struggling with your mental health in any way or any of that they’re very pro dating without sort of stuff and having no she invited you know so I I really recommend them but anyway it was one of those where somebody like this and I’ve never really heard that before where she take up space means you’re making space yes and not speech you taking up you can share with people and I think that by default that’s what making a podcast does you make space for yourself you know you take up some space sorry there on unique space and you know especially when you invite other people on it and I think people have sent this to me before and I don’t think I took enough notice of it but when you have guests on your podcast it means that you share that space that you take can you know when I sank and more recently in the past couple of years and giving more of that space over to other people I have probably for call on the bed it by myself and I’ve hidden behind not quite a lot you know where I’m going to get this great person they have lots of stuff to say and I’m never going to get me I’m a great person I have stuff to say it’s very narcissistic but in a way it’s cherry you know I got stuff to say I’ve got ideas and might bring in I started the podcast because I had compiled loads of academic work and research on these areas of arts and culture and things like costs and have a lot to say about them but %HESITATION so %HESITATION because my interests are much more wide ranging than just this specific research interests I how does the market dynamic and I wanted to explore those and start to demonstrate hi you know the things that we T. two ladder box things and categorize salmon institutionalize some eyes and always helpful and it’s probably not a bad idea she made a surprise things be open mind debts you know and to recognize that there should be a joyous and dots borders don’t have to be fixed I can be perforated they can the lands and melds and slip and slide and all those sorts of analogies all of this is related to a more general time of introspection for me I feel that I’ve come a long way mentally and the past few months and years on a freak and focus and determination I’m feeling clearer on what I want to stay with my life and I’ve been taking action towards trying to make that happen so it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when this began because all our lives were in a state of the coming but I’d say that it’s rooted in a decision I made it and summer twenty twenty one so nearly a year ago from recording this I’m not was to take a break from my volunteer work with an incredible charity here in the north east of England’s cold action language whose mission is to supply free English lessons to displaced people seeking asylum anti have refugee status in the U. K. I had been a volunteer teaching and administrative assistants with them for three and a half years of dot points it’s interesting because even sense writing these notes and my user rang up by eight which is a great north English word my user rang I learned that one in Lancaster I’ve been monitoring it bites whether to join this charities action finding mission their parent charities team for the great north run this year it since September it’s how it’s currently is the world’s biggest half marathon I mean it’s the same size as any other half marathon because to half marathon but it’s a big deal Andrea my partner he is often on the show he is a massive fan he’s run it twice now he ran it last year he loves a half marathon he really does he got on and the pilots for this year and good friend of mine who told me she really wanted to do it again and she really wanted to work on our fitness and use it as an excuse to work on our fitness again I told her bite the charity place since the auction fine dition still highs and she’d gotten touch with them straight away and I am still undecided I mean I think it’s something I really want to date but it’s more money up front something I’m quite anxious about it and then probably resourcing up anyway it’s gone in a massive tangent there it’s a charity that’s very much and my heart recording this as well when the war is that Russia has started in Ukraine as ranching and things are terrible I think it’s broke broader awareness of what’s going on waste displaced people people who are displaced by violence and war in their home country and this is something I’ve cared about it for a really long time I will point out that I am frustrated that there are a lot of people you only seem to care now that it’s happening to white people and our European neighbours but this has been actively happening for a really long time and a lot of other places on our countries have a lot to do with fact you know in middle eastern countries and north African countries and some sites American countries is vile you know the global seis the global north has a lot to answer for but now that some saying there’s a crisis in the global Norse on its people who look more like me stocks and I initiate you know that’s something that’s bothering me a lot and so you know it’s on my mind that I want to help this charity so in some way that has been doing really incredible work for years with people from all over and I always felt that with the language assistance you know and that just a few hours a week I used today and three o’clock trying to reaching lessons of raising him and it was tiring and I was quite dependable and I think I felt really guilty because hello I’m Noah my freelance work really seriously dried up over the whole lock sign and it has not recovered I’m still in a really privileged position compared to so many people so I think I felt a lot of guilt by thought for a long time and I think I was volunteering for a long time because I felt guilty and I wasn’t ready taking enough time to address my own health problems you know when I was assisting with language classes you know I really enjoyed the administrative stuff because I used to help people and roll and it was fun because there were times when I would get to use a bit of my Spanish I have a little bit of Spanish I’m a bite sized in spots but things like in the registration form arts just stuff like your age where you went to school so in your name stuff like that those are the sorts of basic things I can say and are saying enough that it can be communicable you know I always felt that that wasn’t much of a contribution in the grand scheme of things it’s not it’s peddling upholding human rights and attaining social justice are major concerns for me and I feel rather helpless ending anything up by any of those things just a bite all of the time I mean the thing I do the most as I have my M. P. tortured my member of parliament held her up Sydney tortured I’m never done right into her butt stuff I’m not sure where my skills Larry I am not skills that’s going in doing demonstrations in the city centre I just have so much social lines already and sensory overstimulation dot com briefly cope with those sorts of situations even when they’re very far he piled but my goodness I can write a letter so that’s just where my skills lie and you know the revelation needs people of all kinds I think if you doing some saying that’s the saying is net I always felt the exclusivist date a little bit of saying the brigade dot then everything would have praise you know just from everybody taken a tiny bit about her then it would have praise for most people and I realized then that the weed tiny bet IV stand was a lot more than many other states maybe in their whole lives I’m not to sin mean anything special and I am absolutely not passing judgment on anyone I’m just telling a blunt trace you know I’m not somebody who has a dose of money I don’t have expendable income so it’s difficult for me to just give money to charity at the moment but when I had free time I mocked and then I did some hang on it was something I felt able to day in time I felt able to cast on there a lot of people he had more time than that and don’t give it or if they have better social skills and I day and don’t use them and so what I’m not that’s not a judgment I’m not saying you should be ashamed absolutely not no it’s a great choice and I think being brutally honest was I doing what I did it’s because I felt guilty because I felt she M. at being a working class person he wrote he was no longer able to work and find themselves unable to work and structures such environments you I think I pulled back a bit because I had to address that stuff and that is what I’ve been doing a lot of in the past few months you know some I’m not passing judgment on any of us I told nobody should be carrying any shame about that because life is difficult and we never know what he’s going to be surrounded us next I mean I get a bit frustrated when I hear or I read people saying I wish I could see some saying that even they never asked if we find something that day to day or maybe they’ll offer a prayer and the only acceptable response a lot is and I cook from sister Michael and Derry girls sure what could be done today even if it feels menace skill there is some saying that each of us can J. and I feel like it’s I suppose it’s quite a socialist idea that if we all pitch in a tiny bit then I’ll be Daddy’s say Cassell told mark okay John I think that’s probably that’s a severity S. nous when we’ve got so many billionaires and multi millionaires in the worlds of all the money and the rest of us have so little of the rest of the money it’s a tricky one last night you know I mean if they give a lot that’s still small change for them you know so I recognized I hope you know what I mean and that the very least you know it’s coming from a good place coming from a caring place even if I’m searching I am saying in what became difficult for me by following straight on this decisive action you know and I I think it was decisive action and then I’ll explain why ticket shortly you know and if the more detailed but also you know it was last August when the Taliban control of Afghanistan and I mean I do even perceive that today take control said the United States hundred box of them I don’t know where the line is there but the role lose extra people who were fleeing for their C. Este ends you know it was really tough to stand by the decision I had already managed a top point because the language lessons they’re not just a by learning English it’s a bite community it’s about getting to grips with different accents and I’m quite useful for that having a different accent and a place where actually I mean to be honest %HESITATION somebody nice memories of my volunteer worker a lot of the students responding to me while because they could understand me better than they could understand locals announced people with the Geordie accents I get an extra like I’m an alien over here all the time because people don’t understand what I’m saying and I try and unseat properly the way I am staying here I try and separate every word and I speak slowly when I’m in bustle speed up and I’ll talk but more like this but when I’m here in England which is where I am all the time at the minute right do you tend to speak so late because you even English people don’t always understand that’s people with the same language so imagine what it’s like for people here Sharon and Jack come trade will have maybe had to fight to get into a country where the B. a better safer than other countries where they are supposed to be C. S. ions they don’t know the language you know it’s terrifying it’s so scary I mean it’s stressful enough having a different accents but speaking the language you know it’s so unimaginably tough and for a lot of people it was just fine tonight the classes were but finding out how things work culturally socially and practically unseen friendly faces and making new friends and nothing ever previous from trauma and being able to laugh and smile and find joy and comfort for me beat it might have been only those couple of hours a week and the class I’m serious you know people are have been tough tough times you know I met people he had been trafficked I met people who you call traversed desert’s and sees check out there you young man for him it was killer be killed people have gone through awful awful sayings and then to to be able to turn up to a class and feel pride in yourself when you’ve worked really hard and you’ve done well and you’re missing your family desperately and you may be stuck in the shop the hotel room and you’re not allowed to work and you you get these few times a week you have to level for a whole week and everything’s really expensive and you don’t know who to ask for the fate that you might needs everything’s on familiar she I mean it’s so it’s so scary you know so I thought I did I felt a lot of guilds arenas for quite awhile that Justin Howell St I mean what I decided to Jay was I felt like I was out in crocs waste my mental well being you know I feel like I’ve done really well and a lot of the pandemic was probably strangely good for me because it meant that I could see a star in a lot of stuff that was dragging on and on and on you know and I was getting and trace of salts and intrusive memories you know I was diagnosed with PTSD and I had some treatment for last year which I had to guess rich hardy and I did it online it was typing who’s all three instant messaging rather than speaking which was actually quite interesting for me because I find that because I’m a better writer than I am a speaker maybe you notice the difference between when I’m resting like I am right night and when I’m reading notes you if I go off piste it’s going to be a bit more all over the place sun pausing in things anyway so I felt really fortunate to have had that opportunity and I took an opportunity and grasped it with both hands because I’m so determined to be while and to make a proper laughing and I really need to sort myself or you know I’m in my late thirties I’m too young to wallow I’m too young we just waste away you know and I I love doing this podcast if I could make a joke out of doing this sort of four K. weights but at the moment it’s from the kindness of a few friends that I get anything from other told you that’s quite tough actually when you work really hard on it and you know it’s your B. F. A. N. G. in archer AT and t’s Jerry thanks for it the work so hard in it and not really people aren’t necessary people are taking notice and I mean it’s it’s hard to feel worse and not when you don’t know really competing rights but you’re on platforms that are dominated by people who have millions of tiny notes you know I am not a purple icing there and I’m being serious when I say that user celebrity podcasts that have millions of tiny notes there’s no way I can ever dream T. at T. M. dot I barely have a hundreds die notes and every episodes the weekend comes sites but on the C. every individual lesson I appreciate I appreciate yeah I appreciate you hearing less and I’m sticking with made it’s a really important to get that perspective that the quality really matters you know so I’m trying my best with it but I don’t I just can’t make a living off of our toll toll so you know I need to be realistic about that and in my heart of hearts I’m a writer and so that’s what I’ve been focusing on the past while and I think I moved away from seeing my volunteering because I just needed to be at my house really finally over the finish line and complete that really hard work of getting well well enough to work you know in a structured workplace again as well as I think to really make a concerted effort at applying for jobs but I think I’m being more specific and we’re in the Pine C. salute we’ll get on to that sort of thing night yes I’ve been applying the fairly solidly for things for a few months night but of course keeping the podcast going to you so you might be aware if you’re a regular listener you might be aware that in January I had an obsolete just floods of recordings he did lose your recordings I participated and the slacks radio residency at new bridge project acts here in new castle and I made three recordings for that and everybody involved was really kind enough to see not me use the field recordings of those four podcast episodes you know when one of them in particular was you know more than twice as long as I can actually fit into their residency slots so that was really great to have those episodes coming out of that too so that meant you know three episodes which is six weeks for me because it’s every other weapons thank you know so I had everything shed jobs right at the end of April the comment in January I call really quite burnt diets I think it was just a lot of talking to strangers you know it was a lot of hustling and it was a lot of very quickly getting up to speed with people I’ve never spoken to before or you know hadn’t spoken to for a long time or I knew who they were and they didn’t know me I think the first recording I did J. for it was actually with a good friends with tech he you might no no I thought definitely helped but all the other recordings a date we’re based people he either had never spoken to before we actually recorded it Bower he I knew me and they probably would vaguely recognize me but not necessarily so anyway so after such a busy January I struggle to know what to do with myself in February I just knew that I was burnt site and I had a bit of grace from the podcast say turns matchmaker dot FM office as a safe and actively applying for jobs and not actually getting anywhere and I find it tough ways little money coming in to know what to focus on next because I’ve cults who many projects that are partially done there at all at various stages I just couldn’t decide right what should I jump and see again what should I fire up what should I try to complete I just find it really difficult to decide because you know I had all these questions such as what has the best chance of being published and if it gets published well it’s L. O. R. what can I focus on the best way to make and it means ten and trusts and what might actually purchase some income you know if I managed to write a back kind of get it with the more popular press and then I’ll actually get some royalties for something of published quite a lot of last year not just with charities but I was volunteering my time see quite a few different things and I have been doing that for years and I think I called tip pooling as well where I was I’ve just become really wary of working for freight I’m tired of that I am worst a lot hello two kids and I’m a really hard conscientious worker never mind all that expertise and experience I can bring to some saying and I’m so tired of working for free I am not independently while Sadie and anyway he I have been freeloading off my partner for five years all of these anxieties came to a head for me N. late January early February this year and I resolved to see really several of the sites I perked up a bit when I reached out to my very dear friend John H. he spoke to me for episode seventy one up by eight PM update projects please see check this site if you haven’t already it’s a really lovely episode again about like Fiona she was my longest serving friends we’ve known each other for twenty years twenty five years well Michael others realize how old I am we’ve got a really good reporter probably too good because you know we make virgin that he was speaking in ways that no one else will understand because you know teenage girls the attack on it it’s a really lovely episodes yeah we had to catch up when I was on my own for a few days you know it was a really fun catch up and Joe told me up by an exhibition she was pulling together appoint neon house Lakhani’s night I’m not gonna go through explaining what all this is because I’ve had some links in the show notes where you can find out more about your wanna and bending glass her expression at you know that’ll explain if you’re interested they’ll explain what house okay says and why this is a big deal as we talked I became increasingly fascinated by everything she was telling me in particular the history of neon thank god for me sort of a neon before and it’s on the C. it’s so fascinating and I and I really want to share what you the research that I’ve done in this no I thought as well as the old Ulster television studios and archives you were talking and talking about the S. I was getting really really interested and having ideas about it and said you asked me if I’d be interested in writing something and I agree to this before I was even offered a faith because it was just so interesting which is probably partly by a don’t get paid enough for staff because I’m just like yes science grant that step you but I just had to know more about this site I just caught the bug you know I was a betting inspired by another saying I’d caught a bug for in the house now Conaway told I was really inspired by the kites taxed written by Amy Corey for demand Hearst’s major exhibition treasures from the wreck of the unbelievable and I suggested writing a small exhibition guides that we teach her three depending glass show and the works an engagement with the works not explain them but just engage with any of the adjacent to them you while also giving just some information that might be useful might be enlightening might be interesting and it was intended to be a company rather than prescribed right Texas what this means and this is how you should feel the protests in the next room you should feel less and no I’m not interested in that kind of art writing I I wanted to be a J. Simba Staten Joe very kindly said that she considered me to be one of the artists and that this was one of the pieces of work in the exhibition you know and I was really excited about that I so enjoy the process of researching and writing they sit just fired me up completely and then it gives me that excitement for engaging with arch technology crossed that the treasures exhibition had done nearly five years ago so as I came to a head more opportunities to apply for camera I feel like we’re not done with neon it’s time of recording this there’s actually still quite a bit today because you know that thing that I was commissioned to J. it’s all done but you know I was also writing an essay about that and then I could abandon because all this other stuff kept coming up and %HESITATION I haven’t as yet managed to the get back to it because these other things became urgent where is the neon is no I in and trust that I want today something less you know so it’s not tricky thing not freelancers thing as well I’ve been offered money to do that S. or their socks all to play for and they have to take priority just because I ain’t got no money coming in so I had some interactions that I actually felt finer points because they ruled things alright and I started to feel more like thoughts of bites things I was applying for you know there were a few things I applied for and I knew he didn’t meet the criteria and certainly not in the way that the organization was intending so I knew I was a wild cards you know I it was just one of those right just so you know what you just have to try because you’re not in it you can’t win it it was one of those where you one hundred percent won’t get tested you don’t apply for it and it could be life changing if you didn’t get it so there’s no reason not to try so I’ve been working under that other change for quite awhile I was getting projections for the so we’re not a surprise and some of them were written very nicely and not actually always hopes when you any char person as naxal human I’m not just an automated message that same year I didn’t get the job can give you feedback by when it’s not just humans saying really appreciate you taking the time to research and you’re right so possibly it by you’re interested in this job you know we can’t sure yet this year this time but you know we hope you’ll apply for stuff again you know that kind of thing is just really meaningful to acknowledge that somebody took time out of their life to really research and he considers and why they’d be a great employee for you you know and I think that needs to happen more and I’m ready done let’s all these places that just go well we had you know so many applicants will what does that mean did you have fifty or did you have two hundred and fifty because what’s too many worst top line where you’re not going to give somebody feedback you know you’re not gonna let me know that I’ve been knocked out of the running by an algorithm and not a human type of buyer a lot of my anxiety then in February was really in deciding again what to do next and knowing that certain things couldn’t happen actually helps clear the fog I was like well I tried okay so I’m done I I did the best I could do there it’s no go so that’s actually rose something like that’s gates I can try and focus new it’s still something all right second nine narrow the focus on to something that might work and spurred on by these few redactions I the rush died in up to cation C. arts council England’s developing your creative practice grounds apart which I’m waiting to hear even when this episode really says I still want her Jack so you it’s a ten week process to me unless I just feel really places myself for just getting in because just taking one of these applications just getting it through the ground TM submission system it’s nothing short of combative so anyone who just gets three dot sight system and gets through the eligibility checks your hero because it’s tough it’s really tough they don’t make it easy for people even when you’re as prepared as you can possibly be that’s a really painful very long process you know there’s a lot of job application site and for and it’s you may be spending ages fashion are your documents and stuff but then the actual submission ace to stop the not so loud and and then BAM twenty minutes grounds capitate race this was a whole morning you starting quite early in the morning and you know and finishing quietly at all on the day before because you know that cut off is at nine and I just thought what if what if so I did that the day before it’s not an easy process today so I just thought well up to the chief minister south just having made any supplication and is something to be proud of this year you know because I find the thought to my document when I A. I tried to design a proposal for a project grounds and that’s a much Baker grounds and it’s a much more unwieldy based I was aiming to suppress that early in twenty twenty one and the process of it just utterly broke me I thought I was really prepared I’ve been the weapon are shite read all the guidance I’ve done all the stuff you know as much as I did prepare for it I was not prepared for hits you may as well the flung me against a wall on the site but I was mentally prepared for this time I knew what to expect and it’s a much smaller grounds it’s a much smaller for me still a massive confusing for me and it’s not user friendly I had a better idea of what to expect and I was able to work at all right now I didn’t panic you know it’s definitely better to try the smaller funds and it’s a fun that’s just if I may need to follow up being hi I work rather than use something I’m not necessarily in the right head space for because I think I had a really solid project idea but I don’t think I was in the right head space to manage such a thing you know and be the producer of fat so preparing money create a practice application also then fed into another opportunity came up and it meant that I had a clear project in mind to propose you know it’s old building into something so even if I’m hoping even if all of that work comes to more rejection I think I’ve got a much more solid idea of where to go when a specific project that might have some traction if I can just find the right people to approach a fight it for various reasons in addition to all of stocks I unexpectedly got Nikki snow gate as a judge for a writing competition you know it’s one of those things where every now and again because I you know I’m on link then and I have some job notifications because sometimes you get some things that are you know quick apply and it’s good to be visible on a on not professional social media I gas and you know get some notifications and then I’ll go for this saying really not expecting to get anything out of it because maybe they’re not being serious Sir maybe they’re paying peanuts third lots of things we got small things were ever applied for the money just never hear from them again or eight to hear from them and it’s only in the United States or something like that Sir you have to be able to traveler something for your buttons set they’re going to pay and so anyway so I paid in for this judging saying you know I went to their website and I applied a check to the lights and just never expected to hear from them again you know I just told them about my cell phone how was that and you know they offered me some judging on a short story competition and I really really enjoyed it hi this side when I finished my part I mean I feel Nish my box and then I got another box really enjoyed it and then costs are passed on all my goodness the stories were so strong I enjoyed it so much people are just so creative and previous for pitting themselves quite like that I learned quite a lot that’s wild because it’s something I’ve grappled with for quite a long time is how you deliver feedback twenty system just emotionally destroy people you know I’ve had that have a lot of the time it’s a close as a recipient and as a giver market dynamics feedback you know and I think in the creative space it’s different because things are much more subjective I think what they said was just more a bite you know you’re not value adding it and the census hi many marks the sisters are sentiment anyway your because you’re judging it but it’s not and not sensitive this is how you even that you can meet the criteria it’s not a bite dots it’s hi good a story can you tell hi E. gives your characterization you know and it’s more where your feedback can say things like I call really lost in these characters I wanted to spend more time with them or not twist at the end helped me like a sucker punch thought is brilliant you know stuff stuff like that and even when something something to check a well written but you can thank well I can see the story you were trying to tile and your descriptions are really benefits and maybe if you tried yes it might facilitate thought about but you know it was just lovely to be able to write feedback that might actually help people you know in praise their writing and their story telling you know I hope I hope I hope that’s what he is doing so you know I find that the police have a right to stop I think mentally from five years of really tough learning and work up recovery from the catastrophic break dying total per night but also reflecting on experiences wase added hers in the past hearings a past introduced errors into my work and I’m forcing this is something that happens and also law or at worst Dave actually trust it on a really personal level and they haven’t said back objectively or he was a bias or in a way that’s appropriate to be the intention of the pace you know appropriate to that enterprise of what’s going on it’s just maybe a factually incorrect you know there’s I’ve had a range of those experiences as well and I just really relish that opportunity a year because the competition really demanded thanks you know I think going through all their training stuff they were very clear that you know you have to approach reading these knowing that everyone tried their best with the opposite best of intentions and they love to telling that story and he had to make them on those terms you you had to make them and not say yes so I just need to get the side of my body I hope these ideas and I just need to tallest teal and they’re learning they’re crossed you know because some of them can be quite young people and some of them are writing in a language lesson their first language and some people are picking up a hobby they’ve never been interested in or had time C. B. A. interested investor ever before or maybe they’re in their retirement and they’re trying it out as a whole but you know there’s all different things and I think there’s quite serious writers he might use the competition as a way of trying I ate some saying for publication you know there’s a really wide range of entrance to this competition so my role Kim hi he helped a man prays again it’s very subjective because different judges will read it and read the same story in a different way and come away with different things you know I like the sort of coming out of from malicious my knowledge of this genre this is my knowledge of telling a short story this is my knowledge of characterization infection this is my knowledge of language you know in my role I style was two point night where things weren’t quite working right things really were working and maybe to offer I think I think if it had some of this maybe that would help you know this is really really enjoyable and I hope I hope it’s been useful to other people I mean as indicated already or you know I often think back to when I was teaching and I read each day I can ice over whether or not I was meaning to my students when marking their where can and costs and all sorts of things and I certainly have made hiding mistakes her you know when you have a memory of something and it stings she yeah thank gosh it was stupid and I think I’m trying to just lay in and a lot of back and thank you I just need to set but the embarrassment that’s not because I don’t know higher than that not a fax it’s the person who was on the receiving end of some mistakes that I manage you know because I remember I shouldn’t referring to the a certain film and the film was set different spelling of the words and I I don’t know %HESITATION brain fart I don’t know just was getting at know your spelling is wrong you’re continually spelling this wrong and didn’t you know I I with Jackie no no I’ve done it myself and I would go that’s still just half a we check in on their internet and kissing going mods and then I would say %HESITATION it is called interesting okay that’s me I’ve learned something today but previous over worked strong aides stressed to the Max me didn’t days not I’m not student was probably very rightly felt a sense of injustice but thought that stays with me and I beat myself up too much about that sort of thing but I learned from that you know I take out a board night you stop staying of embarrassment and she M. to learn and not do that hopefully to someone ever again produced double check myself because I’m not always to be trusted so I forget things so when things are anonymized and online it is really easy to associates from the person the human being he’s at the other end of that maybe this is come up with judges before where they’ve had thought because there’s lots of messages and your feedback form about you doing all insult people because they’ve clearly had that happen quite a lot and the stories are all anonymized we don’t know he has written them or where they’re from or you know maybe there’s very clear indications that English as their first language but you cannot take that for granted because there might be people with dyslexia or learning disabilities are not very high literacy who might be writing and and party that’s happened before where it is I need of English speaker and they’ve been really really insults us judge calling I might for her crossed with the English language you know so you did something you actually have to be careful but when everything’s anonymized I think that’s absolutely right you know what I think I certainly in this scenario you know it’s really stopping in my tracks and made me think about that sort of thing you know because it’s really not on to make somebody feel bad when you when they put their heart and soul into something was really good your intention what has struck me is I’ve been reading work the authors really wanted to write and that is a major shafts from years of reading students essays where and I am grossly generalizing here because I had so many where this was not the case but a lot of the time and I think increasingly over the years I came across that students resent having to DS nine months I mean it feels it’s safe you certainly hearing about Andreas more recent experiences as well it feels is safe things have really changed since I was an undergrad but then there are people I talk to you were an undergrad before even I was and for them they thought this sort of thing was always the case so I don’t know but I feel like and your G. saying Brady astronomical tuition face has been a massive pardon this sense of entitlement that comes with a resentment of having to do any work you know so it’s not all students but it’s enough of some that it makes the job of teaching them really miserable sometimes so again that’s all part of a totally separate issue actually this whole podcast is %HESITATION lots of separate issues and I’m just rambling on about eight so %HESITATION anyone makes it thirteen S. or not I don’t know I’m not going to you know go into detail on that again I’m really happy that to talk quite some of these issues and debate some of these things with people you know and I’m very happy to soccer practice I’m always willing to stand corrected and I’m always happy to pick copycats and because I know it’s not always the case and then I think emotionally it was so draining to work and that kind of environment where you’re really undervalued ready under appreciated and people are treating you as if you’re a teacher and they haven’t got a choice to be at university and you think will happen two years ago you didn’t have a choice to be at school and your teacher didn’t have a choice and you don’t have a choice but your teacher not it’s not how it works in tertiary education you came here what I will suggest you know in case anyone listing is on either side if this student teaching soft I called to me is that your whole being pitted against each other you know and I can say this quite safely from observing it from right side night you’re all being pitted against each other as a distraction from management malpractices and you can overcome the triangulation you know which is that the term you should look up to do with abusive behaviors and you can you can overcome that by being each other’s our ice just gonna float thought this nature there make friends students the people like Cheney and leading your seminars and your seminar should not lectures they’re not your enemy and they are not da man so just lay off a bit and expose for teaching staff these young people have so much against the minority it’s not even funny I’m a geriatric millennial and I’m fine in life really toss I just feel like two sides in an economic crashes took so much away from people like me and I was one of the lucky ones he script three and two thousand eight but something a lot of one seat you’re a bit younger than me doesn’t help a lot it’s a tough road you know and the younger ones that’s not fun night there guys you know it’s we need to help each other from I was young I was an avid reader and I developed a love of writing these strengthened as H. O. quite an internal person you know something I’ve always been aware of it by myself I’ve got such a vivid imagination on a day dream a lot I referee a law you know I write stuff coming you’re hearing me rambling on about stuff no I am essentially talking to myself but doing it to microphone and then some day somebody else might hear some of it says that I’m no longer just talking to myself make content I live talking to yourself why not these loaves of reading and writing they meant that as I aged I didn’t know hype but just some way some high I just wanted to be a writer for a long time and I see nine with the wrong intentions I wanted to be a great academic and that includes writing you know it was a way that I could write notes to soften be published and have my name on things and I certainly had potential to be a great academic and I was a very good one but so much of the profession makes me miserable it is not a world that is built for me it is a world that attacks he and damages may I tell you I feel like I’m hurled against walls repeatedly it’s like spider man being thrown into brick walls constantly sort of what it feels like me I don’t find Spock with an exoskeleton that does damage every time my friend doesn’t fit into those systems and the worst of thought was and the last job I was in university of Salford’s just was the most combative she might bring in and hi my brain and my body work on the damage I’m talking about in my case was lateral I lost a lot of my cognitive abilities when I became Ellis try S. five years ago you know it’s been five years and I’ve been reflecting on this quite a bit and you know I’ve had the good fortune as well as a determination in these past few years to really get to know myself and to study what’s going on with me because it’s been a bit difficult to access a lot of medical help you know I was struggling to to really get help you know I think it’s a really awful irony that you actually have to be well enough to seek help because I couldn’t physically say the words for such a long time that I needed help and then by the time my kids a pandemic had broken nights and it wasn’t physically safe she go and see the doctor and I wasn’t urgent enough they had to deal with people S. really urgent physiological illnesses so mental health always takes a backseat that does affect you physically but not as much as you know we’re reaching concert type eighties or something like that so you take a backseat I learned my slower operating system I learned about things that help the rebels I gained insights I worked to words assessments that might help diagnose what’s going on with me not that I think they’re on the same spot their conditions that I live west another operate under an ascendant you know it’s really powerful actually to learn from other people’s experiences so I appreciate that a lot and I think that inspires me to do things like less right around but you but hopefully you know maybe there’s somebody he’s hearing that S. one text back to hear something like this N. arts and culture podcast you know because it is already it is I suppose in a very roundabout way what I’m getting at is it is the love and the passion and my specialist and trusts and everything that this podcast dissipates that has kept me going that is see if my life’s that has given me a reason to keep going and to be in a help me learn about myself and to help me learn about others and what they’re going straight and see develop even stronger empathy and I have too much capacity for empathy already so I didn’t ready you need that but it is a way of working Siri I think a lot of promotions and thinking about information and getting stopped in your tracks and being a stalker questions or something confronting you with something and sort of put before seeing across that somebody’s worked really hard to develop and you can appreciate that you know I mean all of that it just fires me often does wonders for my mental health and that’s why you know what we need to take arts and culture seriously because I can actually address the shortfall that send our under funded National Health Service here you can help us help ourselves and it has definitely helped me see see myself and to figure myself lights and to take that time to learn how to properly administer self care you know and a medical science and all and then a couple weeks lush baths and get covered in glitter and feel comfort I mean do the hard work of getting therapy of being able to say what’s going on in your arm to bring in you can tell it’s really tough hi good I am at any of the writing I don’t think it’s for me to say I got some really great feedback I get some very helpful constructive feedback I’ve had some really rubbish we could pack that just goes I don’t like that change that to something I I like I’ll be happy with even though I’m not the audience which is something I’ve heard before from an editor you know but I know that I am a creative person within and cheated if brand and I think I’ve been railing against stocks for too long and I’d love to logic to get me wrong and I’m a logical person I solve puzzles site loves your problem solving and logical argumentation but I am also really intuitive a bite me when I make sayings I’ll measure it quite vaguely angle X. right or L. and when kicking ago I wonder what I’ll taste like and goes you know so I’ll try stuff and I’ll be in shit if and I’ll go well will not work with that so %HESITATION the servers are quite get together show maybe that’ll that’ll do something let’s just say shut the door on the way you know so I have to sing so I have a real passion for learning I have a low capacity for short term memory and I think something I’ve learned really very very far he recently is that it’s more likely that I have a slow processing time which is why I struggle to hold things in my head I’m like I struggled to hold more than one thing in my head at this time because I’ve I get frustrated with myself with language learning just as an example where you’re doing listening exercises you know and I’m well in the intermediate stage Wes my parish in Spanish I am having to replay the audio over and over and over because I I can only keep it for words in my head up once I come to you the whole sentence Mungo I remember that being in a shady when I was C. G. C. S. C. French as well it just really struggled to remember you it’s not that I struggle to know how to answer necessarily it’s more I can’t remember how some things you just said to me because I have to hold all this my head because you you tryna and I mean the way you learn languages later in life when you sort of lost thought natural capacity from childhoods you tend to go through lots of translation and I try really hard to be associate especially with nine to seize your things but associate the thing with its words are a state is just another word for orange and orange is just another word for marathon for example anyway another tangent but you know it’s made me realize like when I eat the more I’m learning about female autism and you know an ADHD is that actually you know I have quick bursts of memory I just can’t hold loads of it all at one time and it snowed a pro sass so it is going in it just takes more time than it does for most people to percolate for me so you know if we have a conversation about something I’ll call me immediately forgot what we just talked about it but in a by ten years time I’ll tell you nearly word for word what you said to me because I find that ability really strange that I can remember stuff that happened years ago really wild like really acute take to your queue they too well like entry simply what hell but I can’t remember what somebody said to me this morning or yesterday it just takes awhile to process remain so it’s really important thing to learn I think and that’s why it’s good for me to have an archive and I write stuff down all the time and I think you need to learn to work or whatever PS your end and not be too anxious but not you know I think I spent a lot of time being frustrated that my brains is not working the way it used to be part of it C. H. I’m part of it is a complete burner heats up this damage you know and I think that’s one of the issues with not recognizing mental health issues and I mean when I say mental health I mean neurological well being as well as you know that depression anxiety side of things as well it does damage connection skipper can things get harmed you know there are physical repercussions cherry bar nights and it takes quite awhile to heal from those just as it would with any other kind of injury you know so psychiatric injury is just not something we know enough about your take seriously user for me I know as the saying need to take one thing at a time and focus on that and align myself to be become absorbed you know I have an ability to hyper focus I love writing when I eight hundred eight it just flows remain I mean I’m still just reading from a handwritten notes that I wrote awhile ago as Pragya arguable says quite a lot if you do any sort of writing you’re a writer and I am a writer that’s whether I’m a good writer it’s for other people than the sides but it’s something I need to say and it’s something I want to say I am motivated today at my house to overcome I suppose the quite Methodists nobility and suffering and hard work that is quite hard wired and maybe it isn’t a frivolous thing today if it gives me releasing content man and it helps me keep my mate even and gives me a night not for saying such things I can only ever be a good thing and not doing it and getting out of practice with that is not helpful CPAS compacted story set people right and center competitions not send training I’m practicing spending a good yarn there’s no more joyous things to make them a good story told well you know we evolved humans evolved to be communicative bearings all of our primate cousins are communicative in some way and look at our circle we have developed to the languages and all the different kinds of communicating that we’ve developed and we find ways of telling our stories primarily to ourselves and then sharing them with others and making about four others on our capacity to projects and to send and receive stories makes us human that’s what we are there’s nothing frivolous a bite our very existence I’ve had to really CS myself dying without because I struggled to write a lot during the pandemic and I kept on my weekly blog for us on this occasion I did a lot of very personal stuff on there people were very kind and said they appreciated high honest I was surprised thanks I’m really meant to log there are times when I thought the co and it’s usually at times when my depression Sir really quite pads you know I’ve been trying to work to make an effort to make sure I have something on the blog even if it’s just something a dog I have my our case is high hills just to have something right there to make sure that I’m reading what I’ve written and doing something with it you know it’s all part of momentum and practice and evaluation because a lot of it isn’t very good so we have to look at and go well this can be better and here’s a way sick can praise and I’m not scared so I’ve been feeling very introspective about all of this I haven’t had too much to get by the name really in general but if anybody hears status on it and if it strikes a chord I hope you find your way and I know you can find your way if you take the time to spend with yourself that’s really hard to take some of us hadn’t had a choice in the past couple of years we were faced with ourselves and that was terrifying but if you’re able to do it on your own terms and it’s you can make some time for yourself non negotiable I really hope and I believe that you can figure out whatever it is you’re majoring a bite C. R. and if you’re not and if you’re all sorted I’m so happy for you honestly I’m always ever trying to find my way with stocks you know with the job in the ground applications I’ve been writing recently I feel the same S. I’m inclining towards side I’ve been trying to read more as file you know I’m trying to find I suppose a pass back to my younger self I used to too far picks and I just in doing an English degree throughly really spoiled me for backside just lost the love of reading but adult pressures and having to read stuff for work takes the fun out of it but you know so it can take me awhile to really get into reading again anyway so I have been trying to read more they they and I read a lot of non fiction they say sexually and I really enjoy it when I do read fiction I think I just have so many banks that I’ve owned for Aitchison of movie and they read them partially because it was for teaching research I picked it up and I never at times just actually sent retired or whatever it was you I just got too many pics that I own and I have not rant so I’m just trying to work through what it costs you know it’s interesting what catches my attention I’m not I get bored Wes I’m under often my mind from as I’m reading and turned away you know I have to just be honest until this offers three things anymore I’ve really says about myself and this is an ADHD saying that I have very little to no attention for anything that I find really dry or account specialize when I’m reading you know if I can imagine it in my hand I can’t read the rating board you know if I don’t really understand the words that are being sad or if things are described in a really bonds way and just No Way here so and sometimes you know why I have good ideas by the board meeting somebody else’s writing and I think that’s quite rich but there’s also no point not being honest I’m not gonna say him him taking out west and it’s not really fair because I’m sure other people got low tide if Sir Freddie accent writing it’s just I personally find it boring I mean I’m also trying to read the books have already call because my income and bank balance plummeted to write twenty twenty one and they haven’t recovered Emmy night I just hold it up my earnings for twenty twenty one twenty two financial year and that’s actually slightly less than the year before which is really depressed hang grateful for anything that I caught but then get a NAS it’s MRC messed me might take time last summer still really upset about that because I was entitled to see a payment from them that I’d in gas and it’s annoying but you know I resorted to the trading and selling a lot of my stuff including a lot of my picks you know it was pretty hard break into a tree and in the back that I bought for it ten quid ten years ago for fifty pay but I needed to fifty P. and the space on myself more than I needed to back anymore so I just had to yeah I just figured that if I ever won the Bosnian off then I can pick them up again maybe I’ll have more money in the future somehow any of these jobs are funding applications ever work right maybe I’ll be solvent again but you know the money as I say it was just more useful than having the object collecting dust and somebody else’s choice you know so I’m trying to read what I’m willing to part ways and then hopefully hyperspace some money for the things I do struggle to pick dying and devour the way yes Terry so usually have two picks on the go the one of my bad say teachable she she the more enjoyable one and then I have another one site to so far so there’s no excuse no dine time Andre pauses things and runs off quite a lot over watch and something and it’s infuriating so I always have something to tell you for a minute while you’re just sitting there and he’s fostered a bite always have a strategy no doubt come to spare I don’t the book aside to so far this time is doing this it’s quite a dry scholarly taxed that’s oxy a bunch of separate essays by the author publisher a number of years that been pulled together as one backed up by a specific talk back I’m not so perfectly fine and it’s a really important contribution to that specific failed I’m ready bored with it and it’s just not going and I’m not caring about any of it there’s lots of claims of a generalized fears and I find that really creating after a while because I think we can really only speak for ourselves unless we have data from user base or you know monitors audience participation I just don’t think it’s useful to go in here feels less will do thank you I got really tired of reading I sent some studies are architects and stuff and I go well I saw that and I did not feel like cuts do not speak for me I think because there’s nice photo center of stuff the descriptions are a bit wishy washy and very technical and I what was it like to move through the space you know describe into it for me in your words and that’s quite boring when that doesn’t happen for me you know it’s a useful exercise and discovering what I no longer want to read because it’s also no longer what I want to write I don’t want to write like that a nice compliment that I get when I D. art writing is set people can visualize what I’m talking about you even if it’s not an accurate visualization I can see something and I can feel something because of the way of rectified it and that’s really meaningful to me that people take the time to tell me that %HESITATION somebody once told me you know I read what you said and it made me want to be there and I don’t like on the calories I mean that’s that’s really high praise that’s what you want I’ve always wanted my research to be as accessible as possible I know it hasn’t always been a lot of my PhD was very heavy theory and philosophy eight I don’t think I can’t even really tell them to a lot of thought anymore when my brain work better I could work with sos complex theories and philosophies here to do the time and memory the very ontology of film and photography and all of socks you know I’m still interested in not ten extent but I think a lot of say very dry language that could be associated but thought I should just I don’t care anymore and you know I think I’ve really lost the ability to do the really really complex stuff I mean the stuff that’s just combative frankly and then you got a lot of it lost in translation you mean translator stay amazing work but my coach the French stuff can be so dense sometimes anyway I just I don’t have the desire really to build up so that again because quite frankly bored with and I do you want to be Frank about this you know the old white European dates have been telling us how it is when it’s not that way for most people’s lived experience just Europe ready picked out I may have done because I have these bits of embossed paper that shows at one time I had a pre vent ability to develop that proved that I could J. thought that I could park west to listen for coal and %HESITATION J. R. and all them fellas and I just want another challenge you know not challenge for me as well hi di make these complex ideas accessible to the people he thanks none of that nonsense is for them because I agree are not realizing up our calories were for me I don’t want anyone effort to grow up feeling lots of surfers free pony cursed our shouldn’t even be an issue you know what I’m interested and then as a valid being my own creative critical non fiction writing that is up front about my lived experience as well as the knowledge and research that I’ve acquired over these years innocently hello bite with some might balk if you ever read it I am going to end the show notes if you wanna stop by and have a price and I’d like to see Stapp they stop and take it further you know I’d like to write it back that people might pick up in Waterstones are reputable tech shops that pay their talk sense you know there’s a few more pics and me Everton one already I contributed to others I have these other plans they have these really favored strong ideas for other ones I want to catch them all right and I’m telling you all of this because I started to feel burnt right puts a podcast there in January gosh that was a long time to get into a lot from when I mentioned this before year’s abandon the podcast night and the night time most aren’t tremendous amounts and Matt loads of fantastic people and cooperators I’m keeping it going this is not a good pie we’ve already hard winter ten rock pop we don’t needs may be joining that bandwagon no I’m not going anywhere I mean they’re not going anywhere it’s just going somewhere else I think the podcast I think in just terms of my work it’s going to take a bit more of a backseat I’m going to do more things like last not just talking out your butt stuff but when I have some other episodes later where it’s just me talking L. B. a bite something I swear you know but I’m just having a break from the hustle because having had a break since January actually yes since January to decide I had a fake Hassel holes through the autumn and then January quite another big one and it’s actually been really lovely to knocked it out for a few months and I realized that I was I was actually getting quite fossils and %HESITATION suburbanites you know when I try to force myself to get back into that fray again of email in this person that person that person or re engine timezones and talking to strangers and trying to be super clear and my communications I just got stock because I come be bothered by cuts just draining of my creative energy he and rather than just fighting up and doing it anyway for work I’m not getting paid for because whatever pitch in H. I. gaps for this I don’t take the money it doesn’t belong to me it belongs to the podcast I use it for the podcast you know when you can go and visit and have a look on the website to see what I mean by that I don’t take away H. for doing this and that’s to the small amount of money to pay me a wage anyway so I’ve been just pondering about well why is that why did I get stock when I have to do the whole soul I think it’s because that while it is fun and it often produces really great results I don’t regret a toll you might do you find a training even when it’s really enjoyable I just find it completely drains me it takes a lot of creative energy away from other pursuits time to tired to write I come thank streets and to be blunt I am class they say I am just weary of working for free you know so as grateful as I am for the P. H. NH what I get in the months is a tiny bit more than an arch worse for real living wage and the U. K. I’m a volunteer for my company because the people college I don’t earn enough from a company to pay myself any fees so it gets the money I have spread sheets very charcoal face because you know I need money for things here so I know what belongs where what’s for what and you know ABC has its own spreadsheets I keep track of what’s money belongs to yet and so this is where I’ve been able to look and see okay I have enough to replace my laptop battery that’s just started to fail or upgrade the website for example and one off payments if anybody’s interested I do record does on there as well they all out of stock you know I have to keep a slow night si mantiene the websites for its on your payments but some pieces like that you know what to keep minutes things that I need for the show your quick then I can upgrade it’s not sort of saying I have some goals on my history on site so you know you can go in the close up and see what I’m working towards if you want to drop a few credits via the A. cast supporter link D. like at the show notes I’ll be in there and if you can leave the tech to help like that would be great it all adds up and it all helps we just need to be where I am with all of this and I make use of content that I’ve already in some way produced or see what comes along with light traffic on my part you know because there are times when I’ve said to people I love you because of the on the podcast so yeah I’d love to share anime Justin arrange anything yes I need to paid after Dayton but I also need to know that you want to do it because I can’t pay anyone so you know if you really want to do it then just reach out you know it’s fine but I’m not necessarily going to chase people and I’m at the minute just not gonna be very good at bites chasing people for contents because I’ve got some you know again just be involved in public people like me talking like that but you know that’s just how it is it’s a lot doing everything for a podcast by yourself I think people may be ashamed that like a lot of other podcasters I just send the soften up magically gets done IT everything for this based I. G. every saying this is my entire P. abate IG all the things every bit of it you know so unless I’m talking to somebody else and then they’re giving me not content that’s great but also not I’m doing everything graphic design editing marketing and social media posts I’m scaling back on I really just need to scale out back while I begin some energy and try other ways of making a living because this is not made me a living this is made me a tiny bit of pocket money that’s not even mine the %HESITATION preferably I’d like to make a living with my first love of writing an example is you know I had ideas for two episodes where was intending to focus on the Iraq collectives when of the Turner prize back in December you know their collectives that actually I’ve known for a long time I visited to show and you know and I invited them on the show back in twenty nineteen when I was visiting Belfast again I invited them last August when they were nominated for the Turner prize I don’t know if they got the messages or if they’re too busy or and %HESITATION went straight into their junk mail or S. you know there’s just eleven of them and you may as well try and hurt costs I didn’t hear anything back and I didn’t GSM because other people wanted to be on the show I don’t have an employee who is chasing out stuff up it’s me I have to do it and I find that really exhausting if lots of people approach me and want to cast that’s easy for me because I have to do the hard work of getting them back John and shad chilling things on a lot of these people are in the United States so we’re working with the time difference again it’s I’m so grateful but it’s still hard work for me you just never taste any of it up you know with the right stuff I mean everybody’s very welcome anytime on the show it’s just this is a great me just not having the energy or the where with all to chase people and then I thought with a raise while you know the third just download the podcasts and including the very marvelous talk arch you know you should listen to the mom laughs and there are other ones sipping on its file you know I just don’t know if there’s anything more I can that’s because they’ve already had really interesting public discussions I don’t know if I have any questions or comments that will be in any way insightful because they’ve had really insightful public conversations their work reasons I she’s with the state of arts criticism as well as loads and loads and loads of other passion and she’s in you know this was written up by its so per plate by cara Hickey and Jan Morrow I can I will thanks affect your article in the show notes %HESITATION I think that was with adolescents I also floated by sending an absolute with them talking ites what those problems are and these are problems with art writing that a small organization like the white P. for example is also trying to address in their way you know I think some of my introspection recently has shown me that I want to confront this head on by finding are carving a way to get funded for critical writing that’s also creative and accessible and you buy critical I mean engagement from a place of knowledge and learning not criticizing which is what reviewers seem to saying very often that they’re supposed to date or that they enjoy watching or whatever angled coming at this from I’m not interested it’s and punching dying or defining what are it can be and should be very much the opposite of my kitchen I wanna throw thought to be wide open and challenge it in trouble at this month’s bill imposed by injuries which is what my scholarship has always Pena bites you know it’s been a bite thought since I was you know a fairly flat chest young PhD so I welcome and encourage anybody see join me in China about all of that and talking at all lights I want a lesson and I wanna learn I wanna ponder and I want to produce I want to just soak it all up and then I’ll have something to say you know when I have to deal the producing the editing the backing of people that’s the thing I find really tiring is just getting timings and stuff sorted out and picking people and you know especially the marketing and you for all of that stuff to happen it renders me a lot less effective as a learner and the thinker and so I’m just trying to strike more of an efficient and effective balance and do not work because I am not in a position to hire an assistant he’s brilliant to journalists thanks and love seeing all those things finds a locked at a you saying im as I am with that stuff and I want you to tell me and the email address is in the show notes you sound right to me you never go on the websites and scored his contact PH higher you hire you dang what do you want to know what do you want to hear a bites do you have any questions do you have any suggestions do you want to be a guest on the show for conversation you want to come on and tell me all about yourself and all that wonderful things in your daily are you 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tear the behind the scenes here you can see all of my fumbling and all of the caps and all of me knocking into the microphone and all sorts of endearing sayings that I make you keep coming back for more and more and more adorable P. shenanigans there might even be special messages just for you there certainly is at the beginning of the video for this recording that’s happening right now only if you cut through all of this thank you for sticking with me the next episode I promise will be a boy some saying definitely S. saying not just me rambling up by things that come into my head manger Siles I would say catch you next time but I’ve started listening to me is the hell’s period power and she says that at the end of every episode so I’m going to change mine I’m not going to be precious I do not own those five words so I’m gonna change out my closing salutation and I’m gonna go back to an old favorite as ever be excellent to yourselves and each other and party on my days

transcript

Audiovisual Cultures episode 32 reissue – Solo: A Star Wars Story

Show Notes

In time for May the Fourth 2022, enjoy this remastered reissue of lost episode 32 about the 2018 Star Wars instalment directed by Ron Howard (BBFC cert. 12A) and revisiting Paula Blair and Andrew Shail having a rant 4 years ago. There are loads of plot details, chat about this and other sci-fi franchises, the actors, the music, production contexts and gender politics.

Original episode with auto-captions

If you enjoy this chat, please give it a good rating and share it with a friend!

Find auto-captioned videos on YouTube.

New intro recorded with Zencastr on 6 April 2022.

Edited by Paula Blair with Audacity.

Music: commonGround by airtone (c) copyright 2018 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license.

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Automated Transcript

there can only be one I mean that’s a Highlander reference but it does Barca back west solo shirt hello my name is Paula there and you’re very welcome to audio visual cultures the podcast that explores different areas of art media sound all that sort of stuff I’ve got a re issue for you today about a year and a half ago when I switched to a cost hosting a C. episodes got lost and we weren’t scurry to the new site one of those was episode thirty two feet and which doctor Andriy shale and tight how to buy solo a Star Wars story and what better day to re release this then on may the force before we time travel back to twenty eighteen you too thanks to our most splendid patrons at peach tree on dot com forward slash AP cultures for keeping the fire let anyone who engages with AV cultures part on socials and based the show that’s so nice of you we really appreciate it so much I’d like to thank tech jams hole for their kind words and an Instagram story back in April that said and I quote hi folks I would love it if you could support each eighty cultures pods in any way that you can their podcast is a great force of kids with an audio visual culture and it’s definitely worth listening to that is high praise indeed Sanchi decade ready ready appreciate you saying that publicly the dollar making at right so enough the other in on from me that turned over to the the remastered past Paulette and Andre and may the force be with this week I am joined again by film historian Star Wars fan Andriy shield to have a bit of discussion but also better for round up by solo a Star Wars story we finally got around to saying it if you listen regulate you might remember we opted part of saying it and instead we did an experiment where we went to see two different films at the same time and that was episode nineteen and our discussions were up by eight the rape of Recy Taylor and he tape we got round to watching on a whim actually solo at home ands weren’t especially impressed got not that long a discussion about it but we’ll see what you make of it so if you are a star was fine it be really great to hear your thoughts on that because I’m not a fan and we talk about it by the fandom around Star Wars as well Star Wars is such a huge cultural phenomenon and it was one that I just would not engage with for quite a long time and I have actually really enjoyed some of the more recent additions to the franchise but didn’t Pataki enjoys solo so for night enjoy Branner then really just for solo wouldn’t resist nine hundred and twenty three in the installments of Star Wars George Lucas money spending franchise stores yeah it’s one point two point three eight as far as right so hunters we’ve been putting it off we find the Senate and it was disappointing well we assume if sandy Newton and Phoebe Waller bridge and I mean I mean I love woody Harrelson here but he’s better than this %HESITATION but ninety three looking sinister lovely Erin Calman just looking otherworldly debating issues very familiar but I don’t know she’s probably one of the early she just seems so C. H. not much I’ve heard of the things that she’s been increased by wells minister of the TV series filming and then it doesn’t mean on Hollywood street stay will send me one episodes is that the one that set by Caitlin Moran yes yeah we see one after that so that’s where we recognize them okay Sir the stock people immediate clock being such as consent Esther her character is just such a washer because she never looks confident what she’s saying and it’s pretty disappointed in because she could have been reading about us which brings its own mark Davis in it for about a second way support Davis is never free of info I think what the neighbors just grew up loving science fiction is that people come to him and say do not be in the sun so yeah he goes you have to this new let me get to the end of this month why we did this part because there’s going to be very short we did it because Stommel seems to have banks legion we didn’t go and say this in a sentiment that was one of those ones I think we talked about a time where we need the reason it was a really fascinating stuff on the night that it was on and we went to see two different things I was R. ET and B. C. Taylor absolutely way it is go that we don’t care each of us want to see one of those instead of seeing lance and we’ve just watched it at home on a whim really cards on the table I am not a Star Wars fan because in table I’m still here super big Star Wars fan and I had intended to never ever watch anything to do with Star Wars ever in my life I would’ve been happy to die never having seen one of them was the other day I received an email from my Big Brother which has an attachment which was I going to have to make an X. wing in Oregon so this sushi the difference in our growing sphere people miracle was sitting in it really is but we agreed on the front this film by accident yeah the goal is to find something new but that is expand and you’re the reason why I’ve seen any of them until now I had seen them a little bit and that sort of correct order because I will not watch the phantom menace beginning trilogy because they just look terrible nice talking to clients revenge of the Sith and I attempted to watch them when they first came on TV and I was horrific the boards and I just couldn’t take it and no matter how much affection I have for Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor I just know yeah it was so boring I couldn’t J. and then I just thought they were terribly man anyway but we went to see rogue one when it came in the cinema and they love to add a brilliant time and then I think we will stay original trilogy after that you will send me I saw those four in the right order I’m using force awakens and we’ve seen we went to see last ad I posted on last last year Christmas were promising and I really enjoyed Group One on last Saturday I saw defendants and rose was my favorite character and lost data I absolutely love her and they broke up this is my second favorite on the other robot because my other favorites yeah and then of course rogue one you’ve got a woman and the Mexicans are the heroes on a robot with sass and she had the blinds Japanese guy and stuff goes brilliantly robots with sass element that is clearly deemed by the team of people behind the front tries to be the thing you must not put in every film because what we just saw had read what would keep killing them and it is done all the people who were of any significance he died were women in the Salem and that was really annoying me after a while it because it kept happening the friendliness counter vinyl she was the first of the week but she died earlier this is the most significant she’d had to die and then in the end thing need %HESITATION aids with lots of farms take out show up slightly and then often you thought well he’s obviously gonna die in two minutes his voice was John favorite teams just thought rogue one and last Saturday they had made so much progress in terms of women being people and diverse city and speed what seems to happen in this phone as they were okay so we’ll have our two female characters for about the first half of the film being nags as in the three people who knock the male characters I mean just this voice of don’t and then we’ll have the mother killed or lost and then in the second half of the phone will have a comeback when one of those characters returns and she’s got her own agenda now and she’s independent of the mountains is going up sheriff I thought attendance %HESITATION she’s never convinced by her before she finally answered on and going right away she still expressly riven with guilt that may just be our favorite surname the media talks resting face just look really she just looks confident he’s a hero he’s thinking okay I’m so stupid person but I’m gonna do this anyway I’m so conflicted and I don’t want to see it just ask me you’ve made a decision you being decisive B. decides but are you feel about it that decisiveness this is a really inferior in spite of all of this the only governments which the film says women are not quite worthy of the same steam is meant it did still have space admitted caricature of a feminist rebellion in the form of what L. three no that was my job range does yes so they have a caricature of an uprising Phoebe Waller bridge voices and droid he seems to have hips and also they do genuinely have a relationship where Lando played by Donald Glover was actually in love with a droid was you can feast for that because I thought she just thought he was seem to be at the very least highly enamored with her not compact enough for that and she seemed to have gone this is not okay the end of whether anyone other than himself yeah he could ever go quickly I just thought she was telling herself son that was a joke possibly then he reacted really horribly too and she got mortally subset that they’ve been buddies for a long time and then really moans for a little bit at least once during tater NFL fan but as prepared than today’s well he doesn’t think he’s gonna raise the falcon and their card game at the ends first year because of a point in the condominium where it’s the second con game as far as %HESITATION you thought it was going to win in the first call came in second target all the callbacks thank just keep thinking of all those internet crybabies mon babies I should say he have said about eight ten year ones %HESITATION this is now my star wars is his roommate chose to see kind of thing this is cura came back not just feminism and any agenda of equality and filmmaking but it’s just so predictable at every turn you’re going oh well this is going to happen only think that thing I said was going to happen it just happened for the whole ten yards if he felt he could trade him and then there was a furious action set piece it was a lot of people shouting at each other I was on the side in this from quick weighing and shouting at each other with the music’s instantly music’s so that they can clear terror we come here with us and all these different things happening at the same time and clearly people are able to weigh up all the different variables ago all that means that we now need to do this we need a change of plans so it was fun and he’s going to tell you exactly what you need to know but it’s going to be in a heated piece of dialogue with people shouting at each other amidst the bustle one of the things that somebody mumbles during the show to exchange is something which then determines the next eighteen minutes of action and from a feminist rebellion was also carried out by store furnished a caricature of a feminist I mean L. three she has droid hips yeah a big sun sassa C. walk at sea on the way we can describe it weakling had for a long time the better term for this if she’s go obey gas as well and she doesn’t because she’s a robot it’s just her legs are very wide apart it’s gonna be a citizen of %HESITATION a list and I was well known and she a caricature of black woman because there’s a racial thing is what’s going on with it’s like a civil rights movement rather than a feminist movement and the way that she’s talking she liberates droids from being forced for each other and in fifteen minutes early if yeah and she back I find some of the some kind in there as well and he’s of course being rescued from slavery bye they hear a white guy the film is with this but within about the first fifteen minutes Han and Kira %HESITATION turn of fleas Correa this planet was starship tonight and the Turner free as refugees they don’t have the right paperwork to trying to bribe away three of the people are trying to travel being harassed by stormtroopers and served as a refugee immigrant refugee migrant subtext going on that sick of refugees and migrants you’ve got slaves and you’ve got a feminist about it as well so the film does these things are all great mixes together fictional versions of all these things but at the same time the gender politics concerning how particular name characters interact with each other hello the men know what to do the women %HESITATION clueless four nine three going I think we should do this we’re not going to fare %HESITATION like we did at I said the the clueless with enacting for the conniving and they all have a sense of guilt missense of sexual guilt that Kerr has because she’s have to enter into the sexual relationship with the super villain Dryden played by Paul Bettany if you have to have sex with somebody you know to to basically survive any standard if I wouldn’t feel any guilt I would be going to old friends and you’ll feel different about me when you have a slow burn all right Hon because after three years later it’s I must admit doesn’t work sometimes that comes when you see the text that says three years later in the film because it goes right I’m not gonna have to sit through an explanation of what happened in these three years we can now just spin on to a new situation and we can learn about just how he evaded further delay anyway when you’ve got these furious set pieces it’s important to have those interim moments when everything’s calm and we just re establishing the off them off of that what now needs to happen but even those pretty florals did get quite boring because it was everyone just saying the plot it just felt like I know all this because I’ve seen this film I feel like ten times before just get on with it just days something show me something new yet a spot somewhere I felt rope on and blasted a state’s quite well as films in her own right there were predictable parts but there were also part so I thought I haven’t actually seen something quite like this before subscribing citing where is this I just felt it was already projected billable time and only the statistics here it was Abrams ask because there was land yeah and there was things being permissive got focused and that was slightly wandering hand held camera senior stylistics it was also Gracie in its content because there was mud and I was doused this is the brownie yellow film this is a lot of humor yeah our tenants so it’s humor the gritty version of Star Wars that they got away from when they did the prequels and that was clearly didn’t have just been stupid two of the quiet past saying I was going into a stupid to me right from that so going back to it a vengeance it’s often point out the first hours phone was all about garbage when the two Georgia picked up at the beginning but the job was the jar scavengers HM they ended up in a garbage compactor on the death star the universe was old my stuff is worn out so I tell you Mrs galaxy pointing this galaxy quest this age this sort of lovely stuff in there although they have turned the it’s really dirty in this environment up to eleven basically with the mud fights lay flat first meets Chewbacca which is just this grey scene of everyone getting covered in mud I don’t know I just one shower after years of currently of being in that stuff Goldman outside of his first find clay you know you have to get it %HESITATION we shaved off when you and I would have been under center it’s gallons of conditioner they’ve go and whatever that was that they can cope when they join the other ones so it E. Harrelson and Thandie Newton no however ones I thought there was quite a lot of mistakes found a not very generalist level is I love song to JJ I just felt like there was a lot of infections if general science fiction and fantasy because I saw and the sign tracks right it just kind of remind me of Farscape because of its not quite otherworldly operatic singing going on I don’t know if you were not the way it does in the far skip titles there is a high pets almost extremely in my garage like singing going on I just find it very similar and nine tracks to the point where it was distracting me rather than energizing me in the same and also the car TS are I started the film I mean it was generic car chase but it felt like back to the future or something and it fell to battle Hank I think partly because everything reminded back to teach it also felt a bit like ready player one the most part we did a good job of going he’s a real world environment and we’re just going to put a few little sci fi elements into it here and then %HESITATION so okay yeah that’s going to be this really rugged mountain scape and it’s going to be a few tiny bits of buildings stuck to this are these mountains but for that first scene it was just sci fi stuff everywhere I was thinking none of this is photographic or computer generated environments which is not a great way of getting your view it invested in the human story for that state whatever the alien was so it was being voiced by Jon Favreau with the many lambs I was getting ready to distracted by the CG I notice on the weightlessness of that character I just couldn’t really access study with me there Katie was if you find tax useful with your podcasts we’ve got two options for you you can subscribe to the audio visual cultures podcast when you change for captioned videos and you can visit all the visual cultures dot com and click the transcripts top both sites are linked in the show notes along with information like this episode as for the next blank blank blank code on a Star Wars story which for we know could be that medical droid that we sort of the beginning of episodes five code on a Star Wars story there’s nothing been announced yet yeah he’s been announced is that we’re gonna get after thirty nine the C. because the last July and have they had to re work a lot of thought though because of Carrie Fisher M. one I’m asking us if I care this Carrie Fisher was an last Saturday a lot more than I thought she was going to be actually the fact that she had Jenna pounds or something that will really setting up to be a big badass thing in the final from when they’ve had to make changes of course if the way that this franchise now works is going to continue to be the way it works for a few years we’re gonna have went blank blank code on a Star Wars story feels like in summer twenty nineteen it feels like they’re setting up something with this fellow night playing young hands because it kills off full time so it feels like we’re going to continue his adventures which feels more like it should be an animated series or something like that rather than the well that’s a franchise for a good while the franchise did exist solely as an animated series I’ll say that he box saying they would go well I thought when I was a kid yes oppose what we must not a loss is does that count as canon I think it can blow around Callum semi works having a bit of an adventure with some human thinking I can’t remember a styles to third very fake images from it because I find it boring man even for school view from the cold something terrible Star Wars story short shoots that could produce peace makers George Lucas made some money but nothing feature length the government going to the old internet movie database I am searching for the walk nine if for the evil could venture I remember this year and will go a little magical items and everyone who went on the mission really needed amounts going to maintain the people he got magical items the correct who use them at the end and everything was fine that is the E. works TV series from nineteen eighty four we are the E. E. E. E. E. E. rocks another spin off which didn’t really make a big impact on your you one of the Watson that there was something up by them talking about E. G. small Hannah’s trying to translate for him he’s not sure if he said something along the lines of family or clan and I said do you think that could be a very obscure reference to that awful holiday special which I have seen because mystery science theater three thousand and nothing else in the whole world would have got me to see any of that but and it’s really quite astounding because I think that was after the original Star Wars yeah I think they did in the holiday period I wasn’t immediately after a year off the original stars as a way of going well this is basically a franchise we never gonna turn into some sort of trilogy so they just played with it and yet result a phone office which has survived in spite of the efforts of George Lucas rather than because of the subject I think they tried to bury it but it’s right there people so I was wondering if it was maybe some sort of notes about the case and that she has a very heteronormative life he has a little place wife and a small child and other %HESITATION appendages that Britain how you specifics I guess and the American north or something yeah for this festive time the very similar looking into the Christian festival that said but based on the pagan festival that we have in this part of the world is part of the galaxy it’s pretty awful and it’s quite embarrassing saying mark Hamill Harrison Ford is his %HESITATION Haley uncomfortable and and faster our old fans who’ve been highly drug because George had something on them clearly and those references global because we have to have references to every time anyone mentioned anything about Han’s backstory so that to be some reference the fact we had at some point between the imperial navy twelve parsecs the you know the thing about sex Pasek is the unit of distance it’s known to use of time they stuck having to go %HESITATION yes we make the Kessel run there’s no way you can make that in less than twelve sacks and no one being able to say %HESITATION POSIX unit of distance so you don’t have that but when they make the Kessel run I just made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs in which Judy contests and hand says well if you’re going to dine he’s such a chance there was a girl references to that bit during the first so was from when the fleeing the death star and Han and Luke both crew one of those guns and it’s detained director there do do do do do do do do I think they have to have one account is cruel as guns and be really clueless about to make a joke about how difficult it would be interesting to do that a bit of an allusion to the stuff that happened on Tatooine everybody was to get to talk to we need to get a job working for this crime gangs to have causes Jabba the Hutt and the reference to setting up a cantina at some point yeah I thought that was leading to a container that keeps appearing the most likely candidate and there was also a sense container in this one as well characters the county no points from the film going to a bar and it’s a bit dangerous there’s also a bit later on it’s fascinating parts of the western not was a bit later on when the in the face when they’re going to find Han who is in his gambling down which has its own bar with live and die you from afar this morning I usually go into a plan L. three says come on let’s go they don’t serve %HESITATION calling him anyway %HESITATION they don’t have money coming here anyway and that’s a direct reference to one of the lines that the bartender in the mythology cantina says and there is no phone that’s called Star Wars it’s not quite Star Wars clone of the central government and you have to discuss the case is there where it says back on him with the drugs have to wait outside seven reference after reference after reference this film was going to go up this is Caroline this is also for furniture and we will have to sleep on and so on again all the month babies Hey keep complaining about eight all the renovation of their childhoods even though these are all separate films that belongs to everybody he curio Watson the other ones this this feels like it belongs with them just but then I like it more recent ones apart from this because they felt different from those they felt like something I could take part in and enjoy where site C. ready exclusion violence and actually I say that but the original three she was say so %HESITATION Star Wars retrospectively renamed and you hope and then it’s empire strikes back and then returned it was downright princess I is such an amazing character so I feel like in a way I may start each but I appreciate her more having senior as an adult rather than as a child and I need Carrie Fisher as a writer or comedian performer fatter than I need pence’s fire which is probably fairly rare so having seen the films after she died I think probably meant more for me the people who get upset about it the things need to realize they’re actually in the grand scheme of things a minority the Sims belong to all of us speaking of intellectual property involved and that means that that’s we all got to watch that much you know no right there for anybody to watch and enjoy or not enjoy it for various reasons and if you’re gonna be sniffy because women are doing stuff well this one’s for you you because women urging pathetic things I don’t think file would have sacrificed herself the same rate for that character I was about ready to find the shared some of the wing sickness you could use to get out of it I know you think something like that and if they’re gonna make her work on those fired up bridges no she readily %HESITATION been don’t think so stories about anybody anyway I was not convinced we’ve had a bit of a run but most renowned firm guiding homes the firm grip on the direction it’s just there Lawrence Kasdan and Ron Howard was brought in with me because the first person I have to start right I think he was in the original director for this I’m pretty sure he was interviewed when I came my age and he was in the original director he took it over editado quite difficult production life anyway Hey I was just like one of the studios things that have to be out for a certain time rather than something that was crafted to be the right kind of thing trump and Carson Lawrence Kasdan Lawrence Kasdan was part of the original so it’s going to matter and sons never miss %HESITATION okay original directors Phil lord and Christopher Miller fired in June twenty seventeen following quite creative differences on growing with Lucasfilm run how hard is that replacement it’s also one of the most expensive phone the other night given its enormous budget it’s box office indicates that it probably made of rock during the rule of thumb temptation of mental Smith park service do you think they got cocky visit yeah Johnson counsel is one of life’s customs kids phone just to me is a Star Wars BB eight yeah the Senate three grown off over in France the plan that you are off to a fractional so yourself those baby because I think the Ghostbusters bay bay is it not the case your parents first date one of their early dates listed go and see Star Wars original Star Wars films that doesn’t mean they enjoyed it and my dad was huge in sci-fi but wasn’t ready his bag he was the struggle Saddam’s type yeah on the spectrum of how cerebral sci fi is this is north of the three Brenda Fassie rebel at the spectrum he liked the mystery stuff and has the Terrigal stuff no one in the store was universe is going to invent time travel because that’s going to lead to questions about the nature of physics where is that’s not really what the science fiction elements are supposed to do in this galaxy far far away a long time ago anyway we’re just watching it again that that’s not

transcript

Audiovisual Cultures episode 116 – Folk Art with Bethany Stead automated transcript

hello and welcome to audio visual cultures podcast I am your host Paula there today I have the greatest pleasure of speaking with Bethany Stagg it's about practicing across different media exploring issues and themes around gender sacks class mythology folklore bodies and awkwardness and what it's like being a member of Newbridge and the wider arts community and new castle I think Bethany as an example of a thoughtful and emotionally intelligent RT career artist and I'm sure you'll get a lot of our conversation this interview was originally recorded back in January for the Sox radio residency at the new bridge project in Newcastle upon Tyne Newbridge as an artist led community established in twenty ten that supports the development of creative practitioners of many kinds through the provision of space exhibitions on defense they particularly encourage collaborative ways of working and community involvement as well here Bethany is one of their more recent members and it's getting established and her practice a massive thank you to our patrons over at Peachtree on dot com forward slash AP cultures if you're interested in hearing the original broadcasts of these three past episodes including caption enabled video versions join us at the by P. as he's here for two pints fifty a month or equivalent wherever you are many thanks as well to all our listeners and to those of you sharing episodes on social media it's a great help and really appreciate it please stay also gives a good rating wherever you're testing as this helps others find the show and if you write some nice feedback your testimonial might just get featured on our website which is much improved thank the funding from our patrons for night enjoy this chopped with Bethany stead S. any stats thank you so much for joining me I been really enjoying learning about your work recently and I really appreciate you speaking to me for the Sox radio residency at Newbridge under worries thank you it's lovely to be unbiased and lovely to meet you strong gains still fascinate and what ways do you tend to describe your practice as an artist not really the one thing I struggle the most with the jingle of awestruck with is to describe the practice yeah I have I always have a description of my website it's always a work in progress it changes all the time %HESITATION probably say it's multi faceted love there I say which in my case kind of sounds cool it's a bit all over the place I definitely got sky brain but in an organized way it's not I did a lot of different areas or try to you when I get the time I would mainly say I work in sculpture and ceramics my medium span across also the different ones though such as drawing painting woodwork and textiles I cost myself as a working class queer artist and I'm really interested in craft and folk call and looking at these underrepresented skills and this work this overlooked and exploring the class sex and gender of the people who engage in these practices yes I'm trying to highlight doc by using these skills myself we're trying to learn them quite often yeah one part of my practice is that most of the work I create is inspired by surrealism mainly because of the world building aspect of that and then they skate prism to enter another world that's solely your own %HESITATION can be for others too so I think yeah that's that's why I'm really inspired by surrealism and also explore a little bit of animism and to promote this %HESITATION looking at the symbols and not and trying to highlight the importance of storytelling and symbolism I'm really interested in inter generational storytelling so am I stoned from different generations down to my generation down to younger generations and and how really important I think that is and the writing of those stories and for us to write stories and shad them as a form of therapy and then I suppose the clothes a lot off all of these different interests the so many more but has brought me to work with people in general so I'm a facilitator but also ask most of our %HESITATION I still as well I have to work the different jobs that slightly unrelated but I try to make it as relatable as possible so I work with people in my day job running groups activities %HESITATION fishing impaired people and then I work on a freelance basis to as a facilitator with community groups underrepresented peoples and I like to do %HESITATION this to contribute towards accessibility opportunities mutilate and radical spaces that's brilliant that's really wonderful very details yes I've been enjoying pricing for your website and a lot of your work I think particularly your sculptural work but I think across all of it feels very talks tile it can feel the traces of ye they're embarking scoring sends the cross person check that goes into a lot of it feels right talks file suit I take it you enjoy the physicality of working with the auction materials in your hands and I'm guessing all you have to show yet a lot of it is about the process sometimes and the people that I meet through that process and communal making as well so I really enjoyed just the act of making a lot of the time it doesn't always have to result in something beautiful and yeah definitely the tactility and touch especially with clay and sculpture in general I think that's why I lean more towards sculptures because I like to be able to touch things I like to be able to feel it within my presence rather than two D. based works just don't feel as president I mean anyway I think what I've been protecting the struck by is a lot of your work where you're combining a body parts with the vessel of some kind I think as a woman and that some may I tend I tend to face is a woman you know stop it's a really striking type of image on this very low debts and stop the service area that you're trying to poke out to Fenton explorer yeah yes social so like the body as a vessel the body to carry things carry a lot of weight Harry this creates carry anything but I'm also really interested in the ancient use of these kind of vessels and and this kind of way of like this sort of decorative vessel that uses body pops is been long being used there full I find that really interesting I think a lot of the time it would be towards godsend I like to celebrate god's I think people might have worshipped and etcetera yes Sir I'm I definitely do lean towards those kinds of politics with the vessels I suppose what would you say you've been working on quite recently and a recent I think we can be flexible bye bye that means weekly or monthly or the past few years is there anything particular you from working on and do you have anything coming out I know again that's very tricky because the grind is constantly shifting on her wrist at the beginning of twenty twenty two yes so what what sort of stuff eating hi yeah so I just go over the batch making so many ceramics so I'm starting to teach myself to make more functional functional west tional pieces that people can buy because aka find a way to make money from my all in some way and as much as I hate to rationalize asking costume anyway go go sometimes not be anyway but one of the quickest ways yeah I've been learning not and learning and not a lot from not so I've been making a lot of functional pieces because I had to %HESITATION market still in the eighties band market and that was really interesting because I was the first time I entered the realm of craft all market and the full I was purely just making work with the idea to exhibit in a gallery and hopefully maybe someone would want to buy them but I didn't really care about the aspect of it so it was it was really different to into that kind of realm and it was nice but also made me realize I do want to try and keep those separate in some way it's also been working on and took part in that now that's why Cologne exhibition my system gallery and spaghetti factory and it was amazing that was pretty fun it was nice to be a part of something so big and such an amazing idea I don't think I've ever actually heard of of an open goal I don't know did you hear of it I did I saw a lot of posts on Instagram am sorry worst was and not as well and I have known her for awhile nice yeah it's nice to see like lots of different artists from different backgrounds coming together from the northeast as well yes I took the call and not and then just looking on my Instagram to trying and remember what I'm doing recently because that's the main place people think %HESITATION yes it will not this slightly different to the things I create is I've also been working for Kerry assaults and not charity as a youth group facilitator so we've been making up together with our youth group and Austin really nice and I'm learning a lot from that some of the things I've been working on recently would you say there's anything that you may be protecting charmed so your membership in your French your high much does the studio and projects B. S. factor into your work or have you had any experiences that you think are notable or have been useful for you the studio has been amazing I think it would be hard to say that having studio wouldn't be helpful for any all I suppose and the collective studio program is brilliant by Jen generally Hobbs not an amazing experience on not but that wasn't to do with new bridge that was because of cove it because me and it couldn't really be a collective which is sad but the most amazing thing that new bridge are doing now is still letting us be involved and the opportunities that happening on the current collective studio which is great and it's really good at them and I think one of the best things I've gone out of being a part of new bridge is the support system and the support network and I feel with the staff and all this stuff and that I can always contact them and look to them as in any career all S. as a mental second contact people for advice not officially saying that they would be my mental but everyone seems so open to passing on information and advice and helping as much as they possibly can without putting themselves out and yeah so I think that some of my favorite things about new bridges the sense of support and community and you know they just always willing to give as much as they can even sometimes in their own time when you know they're not being paid for it so I think that's a really really nice thing about new bridge yeah and then also just having a hope to see other people like when I didn't have a studio before and it was also locked down so I wouldn't be seeing people but I wouldn't have gone out of my way to see other Austin meet with their office but now it's so nice just walk into the building and see everyone and say hello and yeah that said it is a beautiful hope to be an extremely nice have you been involved with you branch for a while then %HESITATION you roughly how long have you been a member there yeah M. I. start the collective studio in two thousand and nineteen well maybe two thousand and twenty I think I've been there for about two years I think it got extended a little bit because of code and and I've only just started to feel like I can actually be a part of new bridge and if all of the community because of working I was working full time after graduating I graduated in two thousand nineteen and I think most artists go through that whether they you know you have to get a normal lifestyle opened them and most people don't have time to make calls for quite awhile so can you just start feeling like I can be a part of the community and it's really not the feeling may have been with them for that long and then I've I've known of them since I studied that because they have good connections with the Newcastle University our study so great do you have any thoughts on the arts probably more generally in new castle or the northeast that you'd be happy to share I'm just thinking of bites what may be it for yes it's a bit of an awkward term but as an emerging artist disposer RD career artist what is the big challenges you think you've mentioned some therapy just existing just being a life is one for stars %HESITATION never mind the co that situation but I am the sort of challenges that you might face but also are there any benefits to yes and what's the climate like for you at the moment yeah definitely you've got a couple and probably one of the best things that comes to my head is %HESITATION obviously like the lack of opportunities in the creative sector in the northeast especially jobs wise maybe not so much also the genies but still that as well there's a little bit of a lack of thought and that can be difficult because there's often this horrible competitiveness with your circle of friends if you are friends books of all S. stock you have to be put up against each other all the time in this also this horrible capitalistic way of looking at things and all capitalistic way of life lifted up against each other and not can be really difficult at times and it almost feels like more here than if I was somewhere else such as a big city like London or Manchester just because the way less opportunities so I'm going to know at least five or six people who are going for the same job with the same opportunity as me and I hate I hate that we have to and and it makes it difficult to talk about but we should talk about it I feel something that we should address yeah that's one of the difficult things I think about being honest here but I'm not kind of contracted with we have such a beautiful tight knit small community and I wouldn't change that because it's so nice to just know everyone and I also feel like it's very open as well although we have to compete with each other the things it does not feel competitive and I feel like people are very open to letting anyone and you know I think new castle and the art scene here dedicated to being accessible and seem to always be trying specially in the spaces diinta such as new bridge and other similar organizations the chart that I work for curious all right yeah that's kind of contracted thought nice point would be kind of nice M. if things could be more integrated like a less of a separation between people who are finalists in people who were working for me not some people who work in theaters and people who work in music it would be nice if they could be more of a more collaborative projects and how %HESITATION but anyway need funding for that kind of stuff and it's not much a PS that's great I think just picking up on your last point about collaboration across different practices different media different ways of working that's very much what audio visual cultures podcasts is qualified as in slippages and convergence across in saying so it's really great to hear a young artist like yourself talking like that you know it's really encouraging and I suppose that's that of a call to arms to everybody you might be hearing this is we need to fax us you know we need to %HESITATION Zacapa buttons be able to facilitate those sorts of collaborations happening more and I think as she pointed towards there it probably begins with hopping the awkward conversation so Frankel we want to do this so I can the forces and obeying I complete make this happen I can only make funding bodies take a bit more notice of slots I was speaking earlier say west Paul and Chris here the director's opinion a lot of our conversation he was ready them the man take the loss of your best at commercial union high speed can stay hot a building that was from the thought kind of thing and it's gone nine and what our process becoming and it's you guys sick it's had as much diminished from what it was so it's how do we rate bells and the arts but it feels like a pile as well yeah yeah that's scary not so scary thing that's happened I suppose this year which I guess I haven't related to so much because I feel very lucky to have been able to get a studio new bridge but lots of other people are waiting because they've had the studio's Justina ripped away from them in the center of town as well and its commercial union house and then also breezes while has gone right around the corner and that's really sad and I'm not entirely sure what they've gone too but it isn't it just like offices and new city development does not work well if conte as far as I'm aware and they haven't really started to be publicized anything yet because the building as it is at the moment S. and actually workable they're nowhere close to being it was open to the public yet silly everything's at a state of flux is becoming yes it's quite strange and it's difficult Senate sides and maybe there's opportunity there I feel like we need to give everybody a chance can go come on thank you we have to fight for this this is worst fighting for yeah yeah sure I agree the city is changing and it's changed so much since I've lived here I've lived here six she has not already seen it it's just becoming definitely way more commercial and it's about consumers consume you know be in the city center and shopping gives you I. N. eat and stay for longer with all of this fancy furniture that I'm putting on on the different streets in new castle and I feel like I'm not tapping into that already great creative scene that they've got yeah that they could be talking into mall because they don't really pound signs and not because I don't I don't it's a stop loss and we feel very lucky to be able to have a studio and sorry for the people dot com how one of the moment and hope that people can still keep creating in anyway possible BASF where can listeners find dates more by Iraqi mentioned we've been mentioning your websites would you be happy to just say that I hate for people yeah M. the website is just W. W. W. dot Bethany stats dot com I mean I'm not the best updating at I'm still getting to grips with all of that side of things and yes Sir it might not might not be updated very often but they mainly you can find most of my things on Instagram and lies just best stats underline so I probably update on the most I find Instagram tiring sitting it almost feels necessary yes it can be quite a smog you have to be your own marketer as well it's like you're saying it's part of the current economy the straight answer call debate I have some other way said podcasts and other work that IT constantly promoting yourself is quite to taking and it feels gross as well I don't know about you I just feel doing yeah anyone who follows me on Instagram it would I want people to know that I don't particularly love the self promotion but like having the Instagram in the first place it feels necessary sometimes are just to get yourself known it's not amazing for mental health no the also actions I was just gonna mention on mental health I need to change how people were wanting and help with mental health as artists I know that the social network are offering a lot of free mental health all workshops for us lots of mindfulness sector this is a brilliant thing that's also something that and would be worth talking about as well as a group I'm Paul often don't know if you've ever heard of it the social network I think I've heard roughly about it recently but I don't know very much a piece feel free to expound on the eight so it's a network of all I start work with people socially socially engaged practice work with communities and myself and another officer via Boston they're an amazing illustrator you should check them out yeah they have wonderful lack we are going to be organizing is soon meeting absolutely anyone who's interested Republican appetizing Instagram probably Newbridge emails all over the place hopefully and it'll just be for people who want to come along and hear about the organization they often have a lot of cool different projects going that you can get funding floral you can write to them and create your own projects with them yes so ingrained we're gonna DO seeming fast and I'm going to do an in person meeting that's going to come later yes to anyone who wants to listen about being socialized when they all one who when they would like to be one and kind of share all I can ease of thought because it can be sometimes difficult being a freelance facilitator %HESITATION freelance socialized and not knowing who to turn to you when you come to a difficult situation participants could be telling you information confidential information and you don't know how to deal with so it's good to have that support network of all S. people who've been in the field for a long time and know what to do about that and can offer maybe some younger socialized up nice yeah I'll be sharing through new bridge and Instagram wonderful well that's brilliant thank you for adding last year again very important issues there with I'm very interested in where art practice intersects with activism as well so I think those sorts of areas are really important again T. talk more by age and said it takes seriously and to get support for so long yeah I really appreciate you having that and that sounds wonderful and no worries and is there anything else that we have on coverage that you're quite keen to retire or the same could be useful for people to know I don't know if you don't for this and that may be that sorry if I sounded cool quidditch also a massive part of my practice in exploration is about what Christmas is well and trying to become comfortable in not I would tell people a lot if we could all just become comfortable with Arnold quickness I'm John compatibility yes a lot just like an aspect of my practice that didn't really highlight I suppose and a lot of the physical works I make are about my dealings with Eling of uncomfortable T. inside my own body and amongst other bodies and how to deal with that feeling and how to just let it settle and be a part of those because it is a part of human nature nothing really run smoothly just the society we live and makes us feel like it I love that I love that really putting a spotlight on awkwardness but not not and that way T. C. M. C. perhaps celebrates and be honest because I think you're absolutely right and I think people feel moral courage more often than they like to be met say and I think those of us who feel very awkward and particularly in social situations it should be okay to feel like yeah it's probably become a lot more of those that feel like after the past two years as well and then the thing those of us who you are at your first and he spent many years working all C. passing as normals this is a hard hit rate will be you know you just come back and argues and that's quite difficult Sam merchant not when you've just got over yourself enough to get it right there and then you haven't been able to get away there is quite difficult said Emma so much of my life is spent on screens for two years and then I'm just going to the show that's %HESITATION someone's talking to me but they J. yeah hello yeah it's good to just try and be at ease with those horrible feelings and just take them as offline right and turn them into good things I really appreciate what you said as well as our quickness with bodies and your own and other bodies I'm really looking forward to seeing how you develop or not because you know I feel like there's for anyone who's paying attention there is more and more hi there a police body shaming and Hyatt said overcome that sort of thing but this is a bit different this isn't you know the full scale saying it's not a strong asset because being awkward it's something that you can pretend not to be but feel very deeply at sites yeah I think there's a lot there to really explore impact apart so in ready came to see what %HESITATION what all you work on Tuesday with socks yeah for sure thank you yes in the sense thank you so very much for your time I've really enjoyed our conversation I feel like we've been talking for a relatively short time but we've settled law so thank you for that it's really wonderful and that I. two S. year really great rest of your day great thank you very much and you too thank you for giving me the opportunity is really nice is actually the first time I've done this probably since university when I was forced to do it in a presentation yeah it's nice it's a cool experience to me to expand on my practice thank you grace well you're very welcome on audio visual cultures podcast anytime thank you my great thanks start again she passed the name I'm really looking forward to seeing her work develop I'm particularly struck by her Fassel sculptures have been the %HESITATION reminded me of the entrance side higher than this a few years ago when I read this writer in residence at Yorkshire sculpture international learning more about you vassals in the context of sculpture was quite a big part of our residency for me so it was really interesting to see speak set pass any python cap a reminder of so many of the issues that arise when we think about it Fassel send conjunction with female parties please see follow fascinate she's got a really great and stick around because this was quite a short conversation again and it was perfect for the short form type of broadcast at leveraging but because it's quite short for the podcast not that it really has doesn't really have a saturation which is a lovely thing about podcasting but because it is a bit short I thought I just take the opportunity at the end just talk to you but some stuff so if you're not ready entrusted spend you can skip on but if you are I you know I'd really love it if he'd stick around I wanted to talk to you and a bit more detail about our newsletter because every month I put together a free newsletter dot looks back on not months in the podcast so I really set on the last day of every month and that the Xbox at what has been happening with the podcast out months and if there's anything else I have worked on %HESITATION had published or John that is where sharing but I also make podcast recommendations every months and I'm very happy and Cayden seek 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but my computer had been how an issue system for quite awhile and sang Coster has been really wonderful and much easier to work with when I get the files on it automatically this is just become an advert for his and Castro wasn't really intend them to talk about it but it is really great I really recommend that if you are recording any audio even if your cordon video actually there are no videos of these three recording C. slacks recordings that I've made so but Paul and Christmas Fabian with tech and with Bethany I didn't record video for those babies just the audio so there's new videos for those but mostly when I have a podcast recording that I've done online and she usually make S. serve are fine with me recording video as well our behind the scenes patrons get access to those videos it's exclusive access and I don't cost them I just know I the way I did it it's because eight pieces just be the same video recorded anyway and I would just stick out on boats with sand caster it 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I'm ready hoping that and you can come back again at some point he's on research leaves this semester so hopefully he'll have more time we can see some of our old fashions let's watch a movie and talk about a debt type practice so that's that'll be fun and even some of my previous gas I'd love to ready to eat that sort of thing with them two eight and also if you're listening and you make a podcast and you'd be happy for me to cast on it in some capacity I'm really open saying that stadium I'm ready came to talk to other people as well and bills more if the podcasting community so I think the other thing I'd love to mention %HESITATION I mentioned at the start is wild but I upgraded to the podcast website or the official cultures dot com so over excited about thoughts you it's really starting to take shape I can at the time of recording I haven't changed a huge amount but I have made bets of it pretty %HESITATION I second can he lay and hope fully just starting to make it look a bit more professional because there's just more I can day night with the upgrades I suppose I wanted to point tight as wild that I. D. offer transcripts they're not perfect there the automated transcripts that I got from a cast he hosts the podcast and those transcripts are not public so I have to request a transcript from a cast then they give it to me and my E. L. studio area of the podcast uploading bet then I have to die no debt and copyists and see a blog post and I have at times copy them into YouTube videos as well because there is a problem there awhile ago it seems have cleared up nicely but there is a problem I see you chip automatically making the auto captions and Vietnamese or Korean or Indonesian or something like that it's a really strange phenomenon which seems of come dine again so that has been you sold but they are far from perfect the things they do with even just me saying my name is quite interesting I think you can get the chest from them to be honest I don't have the time really C. go through them it takes ours there are two episodes that ta Masha episodes and the community Kovic episodes those two transcripts I did added them properly and not take certainly with the tamasha one because that was a long session with three people talking that was a long process that takes several days to addicts I don't get paid for this work so I can't give several days I I already do you stop with editing the audio because I'm very particular about editing the audio for these I have signed sensitivity and she's and so I like nice clean audio I like clean up as much as possible I like closing up the gaps because yes it takes me days maybe two caps but I don't think it should take people based on lessons headset hook I like it to be as tight as possible there's not really a huge amount of action time I'm willing to get this because although I have insurance I don't have a lot of them I appreciate what I have but I'm hardly making a living I mean I'm hardly even making pocket money at this stage what the website upgrades has afforded me is I can I take payments on the website directly and what I've done is I've set up several ways for you can very quickly just drop me a pointer fiver or whatever you want to J. via pay pal or a card payment if you just wanna throw something in the tip jar to go to words general support for the podcast because that does accumulate it will help me pay for the website pay for the dominion and that sort of thing but I've also made one where you can make a FISA pines monthly payments that is specifically towards transcripts and the idea of fast is for every five pints a month I casts fired rockets I will spend thirty minutes tidying up of a transcript but also for a subscriber you'll get early access to the transcript so you'll be able to read through the transcript before the episode comes light publicly see again already access plus I will spend thirty minutes for every five pines you know editing a transcript so that it reads properly and you can see what I things are supposed to be spelled and %HESITATION maybe paid a few hyperlinks and you know that sort of stuff so that that would be a a specific fund just today that's because I'll do it if I'm getting paid to do it but I cannot give any more free time today S. really so I guess that's where okta things tonight three just wanted to point those things all right it's a really tough climate right there for everybody and I think especially in the U. K. at the moment we're being hit hard financially a cross a lot of different areas said prices have really gone up fuel prices in Britain have skyrocketed we're not in a great way at the moment so I completely appreciate that it's really tough for people to the pay for things you know and we've all caught so many charities vying for our money it's overwhelming I do get that as well and nobody asked me to date S. I'm Jan that's off by about so I am aware of sock tape my circumstances mean that I am job hunting I can't sustain this for much longer I wish I could make this podcast my job I wish I could make it weekly and that it could be my jaw opens I earned enough said make a small living from it or at least enough that I could supplement that way other income I always was a project that just has no end point that they'll just be what it is and tell I can't make it anymore I suppose that's just where we're up with things at the time of recording and recording us in February so things may have changed drastically and the two months between recording this and the apps are coming right and also people feel that three things on the internet should be free and I feel like crap today this was to get a little bit political here I think my ideal would be some sort of basic universal income that wasn't like can't you and the U. K. if you're nesting elsewhere we have universal credit here which replaced job seeker signs a collapse a lot of different benefits including unemployment benefits and so on it's notoriously difficult to apply for it's really not enough to live off and just like J. essay you have to apply for every job owners before they'll give you any money and so it's very difficult he tries to fight and be a creative and find your way be a start up you know all those kinds of things when there's not really any traditional farming up in use for you I'm a nine actually started tests for three years ago I had some money because I had a really terrible time and it worked yes it deeply affected my house I had to resign and I was given quite a substantial pay art from that and so when I started this podcast I had quite a bit of money in savings from not that's all gone and and I am afraid of reading off my partner he is miserable in his job and what's like to try something new a night and yet it's it's very difficult to take the late when the grinds constantly shifting underneath you and you don't know where you're gonna land and I think it couple of generations ago it was maybe a bit easier to take a kind of late because you could just pick up a job again that is not a climate where in ninth it is quite scary you know I'm feeling very rest Hurst I suppose that's the backdrop to what's going on with me at the moment and I don't know what's really in store so I'm not happy notes stop bothering at the eight yeah I just really appreciate it I sent thanks a few minutes the end of this hope wasn't a boring please see check quite somewhat soft jacket Bethany's work check great audio visual cultures dot com check eight GL dot com forward slash AP cultures mind yourselves take care and a catchy next time